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TIME OUT, CHICAGO by Michael J. Oelrich The door was made of oak, darkened with age, with a central panel of pebbled glass making up most of its surface. On the glass was stenciled, "Johnny Chicago ~ Discreet Investigations." It was the door to my office. It was ajar. My right hand instinctively went inside my jacket. I pushed the door open slowly with my left toe. Little by little it revealed the longest and most shapely pair of legs I'd ever seen. They were attached to a woman sitting on the corner of my desk. She was young, but you could tell she'd been around. "I hope you don't mind," she said. "The super let me in." So far I didn't mind at all. "What can I do for you, Miss . . . ?" She smiled and went to my client's chair. I sat down behind my desk. She crossed those legs of hers. "I need help, Mr. Chicago," she said, ignoring my question. "Please, call me Johnny." "I need help," she paused, "Johnny." When she said my name I felt my heart jump in my chest. After what seemed like an eternity but was probably a few seconds, I said, "Go on." "Johnny, I have a very stressful job. It's what brought me to Chicago. I need to get out and do things, get involved, meet people." "And you want me to take you there, is that it?" "What?" she asked. "Oh, no!" she said with a laugh. "You've got me all wrong! I don't know Chicago very well. I just need to know where to go and what to do. I need the straight dope on the latest around town. The museums, clubs, dance, film, comedy, music, sports and theater. I need to know about books, art, television, radio — the works!" My heart sank to the bottom of the Chicago river. I knew that she didn't really need me. I opened up the top drawer in my desk and pulled out two items: a pint of whisky I kept in there for a rainy day and the latest issue of Time Out Chicago. I tossed the magazine across the desk. "You don't need a detective, Miss. Just get Time Out Chicago every week and you'll know more about what's going on in Chicago than anyone who doesn't read it." "There's a Time Out Chicago now?" she laughed. "Time Out helped make me the toast of London and with Time Out New York, I took my bite out of the Big Apple." I nodded glumly and drank the whisky as I watched those long legs take her and my copy of Time Out Chicago out of my life. |
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