March 26, 2010
Prince Kuhio Day 
BIRTHDAYS 
Joseph Campbell 1904
Bob Elliott 1923
Martin Short 1950

Time Out, Chicago

     The door was made of oak, darkened with age, with a central panel of pebbled glass making up most of its surface. On the glass was stenciled, "Johnny Chicago ~ Discreet Investigations." It was the door to my office. It was ajar.
     My right hand instinctively went inside my jacket. I pushed the door open slowly with my left toe. Little by little it revealed the longest and most shapely pair of legs I'd ever seen. They were attached to a woman sitting on the corner of my desk. She was young, but you could tell she'd been around.
     "I hope you don't mind," she said. "The super let me in."
     So far I didn't mind at all.
     "What can I do for you, Miss . . . ?"
     She smiled and went to my client's chair. I sat down behind my desk. She crossed those legs of hers.
     "I need help, Mr. Chicago," she said, ignoring my question.
     "Please, call me Johnny."
     "I need help," she paused, "Johnny." When she said my name I felt my heart jump in my chest.
     After what seemed like an eternity but was probably a few seconds, I said, "Go on."
     "Johnny, I have a very stressful job. It's what brought me to Chicago. I need to get out and do things, get involved, meet people."
     "And you want me to take you there, is that it?"
     "What?" she asked. "Oh, no!" she said with a laugh. "You've got me all wrong! I don't know Chicago very well. I just need to know where to go and what to do. I need the straight dope on the latest around town. The museums, clubs, dance, film, comedy, music, sports and theater. I need to know about books, art, television, radio — the works!"
     My heart sank to the bottom of the Chicago river. I knew that she didn't really need me. I opened up the top drawer in my desk and pulled out two items: a pint of whisky I kept in there for a rainy day and the latest issue of Time Out Chicago. I tossed the magazine across the desk.
     "You don't need a detective, Miss. Just get Time Out Chicago every week and you'll know more about what's going on in Chicago than anyone who doesn't read it."
     "There's a Time Out Chicago now?" she laughed. "Time Out helped make me the toast of London and with Time Out New York, I took my bite out of the Big Apple." I nodded glumly and opened the whisky as I watched those long legs take her and my copy of Time Out Chicago out of my life.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

 03/23/10 Tattoo.1 Tribal: Europe's number one tattoo gallery magazine! UK.
 03/17/10 Gluten-Free Living: Leading the way to a happy, healthy, gluten-free life.
*03/16/10 WWE Heroes: Comic.
*03/16/10 Open Minds: UFO investigation · news · evidence.  
 03/16/10 Jack Kirby Collector: Quarterly.
 03/16/10 Bad Day: Quarterly. Canada.
 03/16/10 Trial Magazine: Motorcycle · cycle · sidecar & classic. UK.
  
    
THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

     As many as 2,000 coyotes may be living within the city limits of Chicago.
-- April BBC Knowledge

     It takes the hair and makeup people 90 minutes to transform actress Stephanie Courtney into Flo, the Progressive Insurance lady with the big tricked-out nametag. 
--  March 26 Entertainment Weekly
 

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MARK TWAIN WAS BORN IN FLORIDA!

THE DINOSAURS DIDN'T DIE -- THEY BECAME COCKER SPANIELS! 

ABANDONED CATHEDRAL HOME TO 10,000 VAMPIRE BATS!

TOM CRUISE LOSES CHARITY BASKETBALL ONE-ON-ONE 21-0 TO A DRUNKEN DANNY DEVITO!

GIANT SCHNAUZER RUNS AMOK IN LADIES TEA ROOM!

March 19, 2010
Swallows Return to Capistrano 
BIRTHDAYS 
Wyatt Earp 1848
Philip Roth 1933
Ursula Andress 1936

Seasonal Delights

     You can always tell it's December when you see all the Christmas cookie magazines on our racks but I didn't realize until just now that you can tell it's Spring with a glance at our food magazines as well.  Here are some examples:

ST. PATRICK'S DAY
Taste of Home Irish Food & Fun: 76 recipe cards.

EASTER/LENT
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Good Food from the Good Book: Over 70 biblically inspired recipes and menus for healthy eating.
Fish and Seafood Recipes: Great ideas for salmon · shrimp · white fish · crab and more.

SPRING
Spring Entertaining: From Cook's Illustrated.
Phyllis Hoffman Celebrate Spring: Berries! 10 amazing recipes.
Pillsbury Spring Brunch: Easy Easter brunch, Mother's Day, graduation, showers, too!

     In addition to the above dedicated seasonal magazines, Everyday Food exhorts us to "Spring Forward!", Tastes of Italia says, "Go fresh this Spring" and Martha Stewart Living features 15 great ideas for celebrating Easter.  But the seasons change -- this weekend's weather is sure evidence of that -- and already available on our stand is a magazine called 

Smoothies and Summer Drinks: more than 90 refreshing recipes.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*03/16/10 Turnstile: Quarterly of fashion innovation.
*03/14/10 Insignia: The voice of luxury. Russia.
*03/14/10 Decanter 2010 Italy Issue: Today's most exciting regions, varieties and styles.
  
    
THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

     Chowder comes from the French word "chaudiere" which means cauldron.
-- The Complete Idiot's Guide to Good Food from the Good Book

     Texas has more Dairy Queens than any other state -- almost 600! 
--  March Texas Monthly
 

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Now it can be told: ROCKING-HORSE PEOPLE HATE MARSHMALLOW PIES!

WORLD'S SHORTEST MAN DIES -- KATIE HOMES FAINTS WHEN SHE SEES THE HEADLINE! 

LEPRECHAUN'S 'POT OF GOLD' DID NOT COME FROM COLOMBIA!

WHICH AMERICAN IDOL CONTESTANT IS A UFO ALIEN?

WEREWOLVES DON'T MESS WITH ZOMBIE DOG SINCE HE GOT SILVER DENTAL FILLINGS

March 12, 2010
Girl Scout Birthday 
BIRTHDAYS 
Frank Welker 1946
Jon Provost 1950
Carl Hiaasen and Ron Jeremy 1953

Strange Phenomena

     Once again it's time for another installment of our semi-regular feature, Strange Phenomena. This week they're culled from the pages of  Fortean Times and Paranormal and they give us a glimpse into the unseen, the unsuspected and the unknown.

Murderous Drunken Elk. A Swedish man arrested on suspicion of killing his wife was released 
10 days later when forensic analysis showed she was killed by an elk.  Elk are shy and normally run away from humans but can become aggressive after eating fermented apples which have fallen to the ground.  -- Fortean Times

Mysterious Mane-Braiding. Police in England are baffled by the number of horses whose manes are found braided by persons unknown. Is it thieves marking the horses they want to steal?  Pagans practicing autumnal rituals? El Duende, the magical dwarf, fashioning stirrups? It's even been suggested that there may be an association with Bigfoot. -- Fortean Times

Shadow People. Glimpsed fleetingly in the corner of one's eye, it is said that if you see one over your right shoulder it may be your spiritual guide watching over you but if you see one over your left shoulder it may be the death spirit.  Some say that the Shadow People are the spirits of the restless dead or even extraterrestrials.  Others insist they are summoned by dabbling in the occult.  -- Paranormal

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*03/10/10 The Quilt Life: It's more than making quilts!
*03/09/10 Respect: Our life. Our time.
*03/05/10 Guitar Techniques presents Play Guitar Now!: DVD. UK.
 03/05/10 Aquacabana: Printed on stone paper.
 03/05/10 Duluth Superior Magazine: What Duluth-Superior is doing.
 03/05/10 The Palm Beacher: A Gulfstream Media publication.
 03/05/10 Photoshop Tips, Tricks & Fixes: UK.
 03/05/10 Beginners Photoshop: The easy way to get started with Adobe Photoshop. UK.
 03/05/10 IF Inside Film: Australia's best selling magazine for the film & TV industry.
 03/05/10 Dumbo Feather, Pass It On: Australia.
 03/04/10 Wet Ink: The magazine of new writing.
*03/02/10 New You: The official magazine of cosmetic surgery.
*03/02/10 Maple Street Press Dodgers Annual: Chaotic contender.

 
    
THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

     96% of people in air crashes in the US between 1983 and 2001 survived.
-- March BBC Focus

     Aberdour, Scotland is not car-friendly. 
--  April Travel + Leisure
 

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CHICO, FIDEL CASTRO'S CHILDHOOD IMAGINARY MONKEY, HAS RETURNED!

TRAFFIC COURT JUDGE WHO ONCE LOST ON JEOPARDY JAILS ALEX TREBEK 
FOR FAILING TO PHRASE HIS PLEA AS A QUESTION! 

SINGING "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" EFFECTIVELY REPELS 
ATTACKS BY VAMPIRES, WEREWOLVES & GHOSTS

CORRECTION: OSMOND FAMILY PHILANTHROPIC -- NOT LYCANTHROPIC

TURN OFF YOUR RADIO -- CHARLES OSGOOD CAN SEE YOU!

March 5, 2010
St. Piran's Day 
BIRTHDAYS 
Dean Stockwell 1936
Penn Jillette 1955
Paul Konerko 1976

The Carson Factor

     It may sound odd coming from a guy who works in a store selling thousands of different magazines, but I’ve always heard and always believed that for all of our differences people are more alike than they are different.  For every aspect of our lives that we don’t share we have 10 that we do.  Television used to be an easy affirmation of that maxim.  After all, no matter what we did during the day, it seemed like before we went to bed we all watched the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.  Maybe we didn’t stay up for all the guests but we at least watched the monologue.  Johnny’s gone now and people are divided between Dave, Jay, Jimmy, Adult Swim. The Simpsons reruns, Nightline, a hundred other shows, and more and more, no television at all.  Because we no longer have that common cultural touchstone, sports has become the default Lingua Franca, among men, anyway.  Of course there are many men and lots of women who don’t watch sports and in Chicago who can blame them?  So it was gratifying to me to see that the Super Bowl this year was the highest-rated television broadcast ever, even higher than the Tonight Show where Tiny Tim got married.  Unfortunately I had to work that Sunday so I didn’t get to share in the common experience, though I read about the game in the papers and caught up with many of the commercials online.  That Betty White is still gettin’ it done, huh?  This brings us to the Oscars, which were once hosted by Johnny Carson and are what got me thinking along these lines in the first place.

     The Oscars was always another reliable cultural touchstone.  It seemed like everybody had an opinion about who was going to win, who should have won, who said the wrong thing, who looked awful, who looked great, etc.  As I get older I realize, however, that the Oscars have become – always were? – a young person’s game.  After all, they’re the ones who go to the movies and therefore might be interested.  Even though a nationwide audience of 40 million is anticipated most people I know aren’t going to watch this year’s broadcast.  Does this mean that people have less in common and are slowly growing apart?  Does it mean that people are more alienated than ever before? Does it mean that deep fissures in society have formed?  Probably not.  But I wish I had somebody to talk Oscars with…

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Yankees Annual: Encore!
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Twins Annual: Favorite son.
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Red Sox Annual: Game changer.
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Phillies Annual: Academy Awards preview.
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Mets Annual: Wright the ship.
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Mariners Annual: Alone no more.
*02/27/10 Maple street Press Cardinals Annual: Back on track.
*02/26/10 Maple Street Press Cubs Annual: Bounce back!
*02/26/10 Backpacker Gear Guide: The toughest stuff ever.
 02/26/10 Complete Kit Car: Build · drive · enjoy. UK.
 02/26/10 Experimenta: Printed in Spain.
 02/24/10 Somerset Apprentice: Artful building blocks.
 02/24/10 Somerset Digital Studio: Grow as a digital artist!
 02/24/10 Carpe Articulum: Literary review.
 
    
THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

     The first dog to fly on a commercial flight was Rin Tin Tin II, son of the original Rinty.
--  Mar-Apr Mental Floss

     Musical artists with work currently on the Billboard 200 include Hollywood Undead, Vampire Weekend, and Rob Zombie. 
--  March 6 Billboard
 

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PAUL RODGERS ALL RIGHT NOW

CALVIN COOLIDGE HAD A GIANT SCHNAUZER NAMED MR. BANJO KABOINGBOING 

BEFORE BARRY MANILOW WROTE THE ROCK & ROLL PEOPLE COULDN'T EVEN MOVE!

JEFF BRIDGES SIGNS TO STAR IN "LOONY LUNG", 
"NEUROTIC KIDNEY" & DEMENTED DUODENUM"

VAMPIRES LOVE JELLO™!

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