February 28, 2009

   The March 2 issue of New York features a cool cover photo of billionaire swindler Bernie Madoff photoshopped to look like the Joker, though to my 50-year-old eyes he looks more like Grandpa Munster.

This week's Onion features a Presidential parody of "The Shining" that's sure to become an instant classic.

     Enjoy Spring -- if it ever gets here!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/27/09 RC Buggy & Truggy: Off-road racing, tuning, tech & more!
*02/27/09 Simpsons Comics Treasure Trove: A bumper crop of comics.
*02/25/09 Stampers Sampler Take Ten: Special.
 02/25/09 GardenWise: Make the most of your garden.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

      The number one movie in Russia right now is "Confessions of a Shopaholic."
 -- February 23 Variety 
 
     There is a recently discovered species of trapdoor spider named Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi. 
 -- March / April Science Illustrated

     The world's largest rocking chair stands outside a general store in Fanning, Missouri. 
 -- April Midwest Living


City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD  
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WORLD'S OLDEST WOMAN HAS WORLD'S LARGEST 'HELLO KITTY' COLLECTION!

THE RATS OF NEW YORK HAVE DECLARED WAR ON THE SQUIRRELS OF CENTRAL PARK 
-- SQRATS FORCED TO CHOOSE SIDES!

FISHERMEN FIND BALE OF MARIJUANA INTACT IN BELLY OF SHARK!

DOG-FACED BOY GROWS UP TO BECOME WOLF-FACED MAN!

February 25, 2009

   Now in its 94th year, Who's Who In Baseball is the bible of the MLB.  Its arrival is a harbinger of spring training.  This year it contains the lifetime records of more than 775 players plus photos.  It appeared on our shelves on Monday.

I'm starting to scare myself.  First I correctly predicted here that taking the points and the over would win you both bets on this year's Super Bowl and just a few days ago I correctly predicted the winners in the top 8 Oscar categories that I posted here.  I swear, folks, anything I know I read in magazines!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/25/09 Fresh Home: Easy ideas for hands-on people.
*02/25/09 New Love Stories Magazine: An interesting mix of stories designed to quench your romantic impulses.
*02/25/09 Bilan du Monde 2009: La situation Economique Internationale.
 02/25/09 Wired: Italy.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

      In the last ten years poisoning deaths in the U.S. have more than doubled.
 -- March / April Mental Floss 
 
     Kenny Rogers, Brian Wilson, and Corey Hart are all Major League Baseball players. 
 -- 2009 Who's Who In Baseball


City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD  
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BLAGO'S SHOCKING NEW DEFENSE: "I WAS POSSESSED BY THE GHOST OF JOHN DILLINGER!"

TWO-HEADED MULE TWICE AS STUBBORN!

SEA MONSTER SEES MONSTERS!

COUNTLESS KILLED BY THE CAT-MAN OF KATHMANDU!

February 21, 2009

   Many years ago I won an office Oscar pool with 17 of 21 correct.  I haven't done so well since, but I've been reading some of the newspapers and magazines in the store and this is what I've come up with for this year.

MY OSCAR PICKS

     Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
     Best Actor: Sean Penn -- If Mickey Rourke's dog had died even a week earlier that might have put him over the top.
     Best Actress: Kate Winslet -- Here's hoping she can accept it without turning on the waterworks.
     Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger -- He deserves it and everybody says it's a lock -- let's hope they're right!
     Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz -- Hey!  She's hot.
     Best Director: Danny Boyle
     Best Song: Jai Ho from Slumdog Millionaire
     Best Animated Feature: Wall·E -- It might have gotten my vote for Best Picture if it had been nominated -- and if I actually had a vote.

     I have picks for the other 16 categories, too, but I'm starting to get bored with this myself, so I can only imagine how you feel.  I doubt I know what I'm talking about here, but bear in mind that my Super Bowl picks -- take the points and the over -- came true this year.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/20/09 Forever MX-5: The independent magazine for MX-5 Miata enthusiasts.


THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

      There is a dentist's office in the White House.
 -- January / February Celeb Staff 
 
     Barbie has had 108 occupations in her first 50 years. 
 -- March Harper's

     20,000 people a year are killed by snakebites worldwide.
 -- January BBC Focus

City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD  
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

OHIO WOMAN INJURED WHILE BATHING HER PET RHINOCEROS

BIGFOOT NATION IN BID FOR SOVEREIGNTY

NEW DOG BREED INSTINCTIVELY BREAKDANCES!

OSAMA BIN LADEN ACCIDENTALLY SITS ON A STALAGMITE

BURRIS: "Did I mention that Tony Rezko is my brother-in-law?"

February 18, 2009

   The snow tonight was a pretty good reminder that it's not actually Spring yet -- it's February.  With the March issue, Michelle Obama becomes only the second First Lady to grace the cover of Vogue.  Speaking of Vogue, L'Uomo Vogue seems to want to be grossing us out with its covers lately.  Last month's issue had arguably the creepiest image to ever appear on the cover of a fashion magazine -- A high-contrast black & white photo of a deeply wrinkled Keith Richards holding a lit cigarette butt between his arthritically-gnarled fingers.  So how did they follow that this month?  An almost identical photo of Mickey Rourke.  At least the first joints of his fingers aren't swollen to the verge of bursting, but still -- it's Mickey Rourke.  

     I've got to stop thinking about those disgusting things because next Tuesday is Pazcki Day!  In New Orleans they celebrate Fat Tuesday with parades, booze and public nudity.  In Rio De Janeiro they celebrate Fat Tuesday with a wild orgy of dancing in the streets.  In Chicago, we Midwesterners celebrate Fat Tuesday by eating jelly doughnuts.  Oh, well.  Jelly doughnuts are better than nothing. Enjoy!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

 02/14/09 Pro Photo: Monthly.
 02/13/09 Simpsons Super Spectacular: Semi-annual from Bongo Comics.


THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

      In 2008, sluttish pop dinosaur, Madonna outgrossed red hot youngsters The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Lil Wayne and Taylor Swift combined!
 -- February 21 Billboard 
 
     Even after Nevada became a state in 1864, Las Vegas was still part of the Arizona Territory. 
 -- April  Wild West

     In 1970, Cubs left-hander Ken Holtzman threw a no-hitter without throwing a single strikeout.
 -- March / April Baseball Digest

City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD  
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE IS BEING TRACKED BY AMISH SPY SATELLITES!

ELEPHANTS IN GERMAN ZOO HAVE SECRETLY BEEN GROWING THEIR OWN PEANUTS!

NEW COCKTAIL MAKES WOMEN SPEAK FRENCH!

74-YEAR OLD ELVIS SPOTTED ALIVE AND DISORIENTED ON MAIN STREET USA 
-- UNTIL MICKEY AND DONALD HUSTLED HIM BACK INTO CINDERELLA'S CASTLE!

February 14, 2009
Valentine's Day


       We've heard that some stores haven't received their shipments of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.  Well, there's no shortage of copies at City Newsstand in Chicago and the Chicago-Main Newsstand in Evanston!  This year's edition features 7 countries, 33 models & 83 bikinis!  One of those models is racecar driver Danica Patrick.

     President Obama flew over City Newsstand Friday afternoon between 5:30 & 6.  I'm not sure, but I think he may have waved to us.

     We see couples on dates at City Newsstand on most Saturday nights but today being Valentine's Day I'm guessing we'll be seeing even more couples than usual.  Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

 02/12/09 National Geographic World German: Das zweisprachige Wissenmagazine für junge entdecker.
*02/11/09 J Journal: New writing on justice.
*02/11/09 The Swiss Watchmaking Year: 2009.
 02/11/09 Memoir (and): Prose, poetry, essays, graphics, lies and more.
 02/11/09 Tattoo Spirit: Die Tattoo-Illusrierte für Dein neues tattoo.


THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

      Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is addicted to Carmex. 
 -- March Esquire 
 
     "Without You", the ballad made famous by Nilsson and more recently by Mariah Carey, was a originally a Badfinger song. 
 --  March  Uncut

     It was the railroads that forced the adoption of standardized time zones in America, on November 18, 1883
 -- March Discover

City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD  
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

OCTOMOM TO PLAY VILLAIN IN SPIDERMAN 4!

OPRAH VACATIONS IN ATLANTIS -- NOT THE RESORT IN THE BAHAMAS, THE REAL ATLANTIS!

MAN FINDS TWO IDENTICAL SNOWFLAKES AND DISAPPEARS IN A BLINDING FLASH OF GREEN LIGHT!

TEACHER REFUSES TO TEACH CHILDREN ANYTHING BUT LOWER-CASE LETTERS "BECAUSE THE DEMOCRATS KILLED CAPITALISM!"

February 11, 2009


       The weather is starting to cure my Spring Fever and by the time we get the snow they're predicting for this weekend I'm sure I'll be back to 100%. 

It's not yet swimsuit season but it is swimsuit-issue season!  The mother of all swimsuit issues is the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue whose cover made its debut this year on CBS' Late Show with David Letterman on Monday night. Earlier arrivals include Maxim's The Real Swimsuit Issue, which promises "Tinier Bikinis! Sexier Girls!" and "Higher SPF!", and Curves presents Swimsuits which features "the hottest women you've ever seen!"  So all of you connoisseurs of fine swimwear be sure to come on down and stock up so you can acquaint yourself with all the latest styles!

     There's a nice article about local restaurateur Michael Carlson and his ambitious Wicker Park restaurant, Schwa, in the new issue of GQ.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/07/09 Lindy's Sports presents National Champions: Florida Gators 2008.
*02/06/09 Debbie Bliss Knitting Magazine: Sit back and relax with your knitting!
*02/06/09 Hairstyle Showcase: 1,000+ styles!


THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

      In the movie "The Godfather" actor James Caan's speech patters were inspired by insult-comic Don Rickles. 
 -- March Vanity Fair 
 
     Actress Joyce DeWitt, of Three's Company" fame, went to Ball State University with David Letterman. 
 --  March | April AARP The Magazine

City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD  
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

'ROADKILL BUFFET' OPENS AT BIGFOOT CASINO

VOLCANO ERUPTS IN REVERSE -- SWALLOWING CLOUDS, BIRDS & A DELTA 747 WITH 183 ABOARD!

TOP CIRCUS CLOWN'S MAKEUP NOT MAKEUP!

TOM CRUISE CAN FLY!

February 7, 2009


   Spring training is starting up!  Pitchers and catchers are reporting and soon we'll be having some exhibition games and a chance to look at the rookies and some minor leaguers.  The tulips we'll be pushing their way up soon and before you know it, it'll be Opening Day.  I can almost smell the hot dogs now!  The baseball annuals are starting to come out.  Soon we'll be talking about the Kentucky Derby.  It's going to be 60 degrees and I'm starting to get Spring Fever so I'm going to have to cut his short!  Enjoy!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/03/09 Golf Week's Definitive Guide to the Golf Life: For serious golfers only.
*02/03/09 CZ-USA: Hunting and sporting firearms.
*02/05/09 Texas Traveler: Your 2008 | 2009 guide to adventure.
*02/05/09 Dell Original Ken Ken: Our new twist on Sudoku brings you the ultimate in puzzle fun!

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

      The escape velocity of the moon is about 5,300 m.p.h.. 
 -- Jan/Feb Science Illustrated 
 
     The Beloit International Film Festival will be held February 19-22 in Beloit, WI.. 
 --  February Midwest Living

     There are several varieties of orchid native to the state of Illinois.
 -- Winter Chicago WildernessI

City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD  
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

FOODIE COUPLE EXCHANGE VOWS, ONION RINGS!

DICK CHENEY GOES BACK TO THE BRIDGE HE LIVES UNDER

DOBERMAN BITTEN BY VAMPIRE SLEEPS IN BASEMENT ALL DAY -- 13 PAPER BOYS GO MISSING

FORD EXPERIMENTAL ASSEMBLY LINE 'MANNED' BY TRAINED CHIMPS!

February 4, 2009


   Another sunny day in the world of magazines! The weather has been really cold lately but the warm up is starting to begin.  The Groundhog saw his shadow so there will still be six weeks of winter but the good news is that there will be six more weeks to enjoy staying home to read magazines!

Random Thought: Hot Giardinera is the only surefire way to get a real Chicagoan to eat vegetables.

Currently on the Billboard 200 are albums by Andrew Bird, Robin Thicke, Taylor Swift and the Eagles.  If only The Black Crowes had a hot album right now we might have had something... 

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*01/31/09 Apron·ology: Aprons with attitude!
*01/31/09 Journey to the Presidency: Obama -- A man of destiny in time of need.


THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

      "Seduction: Sinatra Sings of Love" debuted on the Billboard 200 this week at number 23. 
 -- February 7 Billboard 
 
     25% of Americans over 65 have no natural teeth at all. 
 --  February Harper's

City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD  
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE GUNMEN WERE WOMEN!

TALKING DOG DICTATED HOLLYWOOD HITS! Screenplays 'written' by dachshund named Mr. Snoodles

ZAC EFRON DISAPPEARS -- KEITH RICHARDS LOOKS MYSTERIOUSLY YOUNGER

New evidence proves... MARILYN MONROE WAS MURDERED BY SECRET VATICAN DEATH SQUAD!

February 1, 2009
Super Bowl Sunday


    Happy Super Bowl Sunday!  I haven't posted for a whole week because I got some kind of bug and was feeling a little out of it but I'm feeling much better now and to celebrate I'm putting up a Super Post today with lots of extras like an expanded edition of City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD.  First things first:  I'm taking the points and the over today in the Super Bowl and I think most of you will know just how wrong or right I was by the time you read this -- I guarantee that this has been posted before game time.

     A sad note:  After decades of being the place to find everything from used musical instruments to a good used car, Tradin' Times has ceased publication, another casualty of the medium you are using right now, the Internet.  I bought my first electric piano out of Tradin' Times when I was 18.

     Hey, we've got a big shelf of books that we got sick of looking at so we're blowing them out the door for a buck apiece.  They're going fast so hurry for the best selection!

     Finally, if this is your first time at our blog, check out the previous entries by clicking on the link at the bottom of this entry.  We started blogging on January 1st, 2009, so there's plenty more to read!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

 01/28/09 National RV Trader: Sell your RV fast!
*01/27/09 Vermont Life presents Celebrating Champlain: Marking the 400th anniversary of the French explorer's visit.
 01/27/09 Custom Whipz: An automotive lifestyle magazine.
 01/27/09 Artful Blogging: Visually inspired online journals.
*01/23/09 Food Magazine: For a healthy new you!
*01/23/09 Newsweek Special Commemorative Inaugural Edition: The inauguration of Barack Obama.
*01/23/09 2009 Season Preview: Powered by Racing Milestones.
 01/23/09 Paper Creations: Cards... cards... cards!

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

      When throwing a plastic flying disc backhand, "keeping the nose down is critical. Even a slightly upturned nose results in a tail-skating flight, hyzering out long before you intended it to. 
 -- Issue 4 Flying Disc Magazine 
 
     Top ticket for Liza Minnelli at the Palace Theatre in New York last month was $251.50. 
 --  January 31 Billboard

     Former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice has signed with the William Morris Agency. 
 -- January 26 Variety

City Newsstand's HEADLINE WORLD  
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

BLAGO TO PLAY HIMSELF IN MEL GIBSON'S "THE PASSION OF BLAGO"

ARSONIST POSSESSED BY SPIRIT OF MRS. O'LEARY'S COW!

TO CATER TO THEIR "SPECIAL NUTRITIONAL NEEDS" PURINA TO MAKE "WEREWOLF CHOW!"

ROTTWEILER IN SEATTLE DOES MACRAMÉ!

LINCOLN'S PET TORTOISE STILL ALIVE!

RUSH LIMBAUGH TURNS INTO TALKING HIPPOPOTAMUS -- NO ONE NOTICES

Click HERE to read the January  Entries