March 14, 2016
Pi Day

BIRTHDAYS
Albert Einstein 1879
Michael Caine 1933
Walter Parazaider 1945

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*03/07/16 1843: A new magazine of ideas, lifestyle and culture.
*03/05/16 Current Affairs: A magazine of culture & politics.
*03/05/16 Zero Belly: Eat, drink & still shrink!
*03/05/16 Paula Deen’s Southern Desserts: Delicious recipes for every occasion.
*03/04/16 Drone 360: Automating the future of fighting.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

The Titanic was held together by 3 million rivets.
— April National Geographic KiDS

Psychopaths don’t find yawns contagious.
— March/April Mental Floss

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
As always, 100% T.R.U.E.! (Trumped-up, Reliably Unreliable & Ersatz)

CROCODILE GRAPEFRUIT!

OHIO MAN SHOCKED TO LEARN HIS WIFE OF 20 YEARS IS HIS TWIN SISTER!

LAST TUESDAY ALL OF THE WORLD’S HYENAS INEXPLICABLY TURNED IN COCKER SPANIELS!

STUCK-UP LAKE CONSIDERS ITSELF BOTH “GREAT” AND “SUPERIOR”

STATE CONSIDERED THE NAMES ARMISSOURI AND ARILLINOIS BEFORE SETTLING ON ARKANSAS

 
Weekly Words of Wisdom

Want a long life? Go to as many baseball games as you can. You won’t live any longer but it will seem like it.

Fictitious Customers of the Week 

Butch R. Dreemzaway & Flora Nutherday