December 27, 2010
St. Stephen’s Day
BIRTHDAYS
Sydney Greenstreet 1879
Peter Sinfield 1943
Karla Bonoff 1952

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*12/17/10 Caviar Izquierda: Hardcover. Spain.
12/17/10 Yerevan: Magazine with an accent.
*12/16/10 Arroyo: Literary review.
*12/16/10 How It Works Book of Space: Everything you want to know about the universe we live in.
*12/16/10 AS IS Calendar 2011: Hottest covers.
*12/16/10 Monocle Alpino: Monocle in the Alps.
*12/16/10 William and Kate A Royal Romance: Posters.
*12/16/10 Wills & Kate A Royal Love Story: Special celebration souvenir.
12/16/10 Gentleman: El valor de la elegencia.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Which is the most commonly used five-letter word in the English language.
— Jan/Feb Mental Floss
Its users upload 100 million photos to Facebook everyday.
— December 27 TIME



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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SANTA SPELLED BACKWARDS IS “ATNAS”!

WITH HIS CAPE. ABILITY TO FLY, AND STRENGTH OF TEN MEN,
DRACULA WAS WORLD’S FIRST SUPER-HERO!

SHERLOCK HOLMES MAY STILL BE ALIVE!

GOVERNMENT EXPERIMENT GONE HORRIBLY WRONG RESULTS IN JUSTIN BIEBER!
DOG WALKER SUSPICIOUS OF BIG UGLY DOG HE’S HIRED TO WALK ONLY ON NIGHTS WITH A FULL MOON…

December 20, 2010
Feast of Ursicinus of Saint-Ursanne
BIRTHDAYS
Charlie Callas 1924
Peter Criss 1945
John Spencer 1946

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*12/11/10 Tron Legacy: The ultimate movie guide.
*12/11/10 Hodgdon’s Annual Manual Reloading: For handguns and rifles with Hodgdon, IMR & Winchester powders.
*12/10/10 BDM’s Apps Review Guide for Android: Discover the best apps to unlock the true power of your android device.
*12/10/10 Advanced Photographer: The magazine that takes your images seriously. UK.
10/10/10 Patient Resource Cancer Guide: A treatment and facilities guide for patients and their families.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
It’s estimated that 355,000 Californians hold a medical order to purchase marijuana.
— January Harper’s
The Goldilocks Zone is what scientists call the area of a solar system where it’s not too hot, not too cold, but where conditions are just right to support life.
— How It Works Book Of Space



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REINDEER LEAVE ‘PRESENTS’, TOO!

ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS HIS TRUE LOVE GAVE HIM HEPATITIS C!

WILL SAMMY SOSA BE A CONTESTANT ON NEXT SEASON’S ‘JUICING WITH THE STARS?’

ANGRY REINDEER GIVE NEW MEANING TO THE PHRASE “MAUL SANTA”
PUPPIES BORN ON CHRISTMAS MORNING NAMED HARDROCK, COCOA AND JOE

December 13, 2010
Saint Lucy’s Day
BIRTHDAYS
Ross MacDonald 1915
Dick Van Dyke 1925
Christopher Plummer 1929

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*12/07/10 SUP: StandUp Paddler.
*12/07/10 Social Diary Daily: Social reality, actuality and fantasy revealed.
*12/07/10 Timber Home Living Buyers Guide: Annual.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Scientists estimate that about 100 trillion subatomic particles called neutrinos pass through our bodies every second.
— Winter Mysteries of the Universe
Some dinosaurs lived in polar regions.
— December BBC Focus



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WALLABY SPOKESMAN: KANGAROOS AIN’T ALL THAT

NORTH DAKOTA TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR!

CUBS QUIETLY SIGN WOOD, SOSA

WHEN ASKED WHAT THEIR HOT DOGS ARE MADE OF
CLERKS AT “ZOMBIE DOG” ENIGMATICALLY REPLY, “MEAT”
MALL SANTA TURNS OUT TO BE DUSTIN DIAMOND

December 6, 2010
Saint Nicholas Day
BIRTHDAYS
Ira Gershwin 1896
Dave Brubeck 1920
Steven Wright 1955

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*12/04/10 ID: Ideas & Discoveries.
*12/04/10 American Woodworker 20 Furniture Projects: Complete instructions, plans and how-to photos.
12/04/10 American Salon: Beauty lives here.
*11/20/10 TV Y Novelas Horóscopo 2011: ¡Arende a atraer salud, dinero y amor!
11/19/10 Bloody Kiss: France.
11/17/10 Kitesurf: The number 1 kitesurf magazine. UK.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
100 million years ago the Earth was more habitable for humans than it is today.
— January/February Analog
On the Jack Benny Radio Program, Rochester’s last name was Van Jones.
— Winter Nostalgia Digest



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TOM CRUISE BELLIGERENTLY TELLS MALL SANTA,
“YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CHRISTMAS! I’VE DONE THE RESEARCH!”

SUPER-SKUNK’S SPRAY CAN MELT THE SKIN RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE!

AFTER THE APOCALYPSE THE WORLD WILL BE RULED BY GIRAFFES

SEXY NEW WAR MOVIE FOR RUMINANTS: ALPACA LIPS NOW!
SANTA’S ‘ELVES’ ARE REALLY MARTIANS!

November 29, 2010
Feast of St. Radboud of Utrecht
BIRTHDAYS
Christian Doppler 1803
Yakima Canutt 1896
Billy Strayhorn 1922

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*11/16/10 Apps Magazine: iPhone, iPad & iPod.
*11/16/10 Android Tips, Tricks & Apps: All you need to know about using Android phones.
*11/13/10 Trains 4 Kids: Train stories, games, activities & more!
*11/13/10 Star Trek Special Edition: Preparing for the Final Frontier.
*11/13/10 New Yorker Cartoons of the Year: Over 300 cartoons from 2010.
11/13/10 Cura Magazine: Devoted to contemporary art. Italia.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
There are nine states where you don’t need a license to own a tiger.
— December Harper’s
The word, “saltation” means leaping or dancing.
— December Reader’s Digest



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
In honor of this week’s release of the deathless classic Knight and Day on DVD
we present a reprise of some of our favorite TC-related headlines — enjoy!

KNIGHT AND DAY YOU AREN’T THE ONE!

WHEN IT COMES TO CONSIDERING THE TOP MOVIE STARS OF ALL TIME,
TOM CRUISE IS JUST SHORT!

WILL “LESTAT GOES TO HIGH SCHOOL” MARK THE ‘TWILIGHT’ OF CRUISE’S CAREER?

TOM CRUISE TO BOUNCE BACK IN “COCKTAIL 3D!”
EVEN THOUGH HE’S MUCH OLDER, KATIE HOLMES’ HUSBAND REALLY LOOKS UP TO HER!

November 22, 2010
Feast of St. Cecilia
BIRTHDAYS
Hoagy Carmichael 1899
Rodney Dangerfield 1921
Robert Vaughn 1932

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
11/12/10 Mark Lipinski’s Christmas 365: Living the holiday all year long.
11/12/10 Zootles: Wild animal learning fun for children.
11/12/10 Walt Disney Comics: Comic.
*11/10/10 Gopher Illustrated: Stuff of legends.
*11/10/10 The Maya: Mysteries and new discoveries from the editors of Archaeology.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
A male elephant seal can weigh over 5,000 pounds.
— November/December Zootles
John Lennon was 5’11”.
— LIFE Remembers John Lennon



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TAFFY APPLES ARE NEITHER MADE OF TAFFY NOR ARE THEY PERSONAL COMPUTERS!
Now it can be told… YOKO DIDN’T SPEAK TO JOHN FOR WEEKS AFTER THE RELEASE OF “I WANT YOU/SHE’S SO HEAVY”!

TENSE MOMENT AT HOLLYWOOD PARTY WHEN RANDY JACKSON CALLS KAT VON D, “DAWG”

TSARIST ARTISTS IN DIRE STRAITS
ZOO ELEPHANT CAN REMEMBER PI TO OVER A THOUSAND PLACES AND TAP IT OUT WITH HIS FOOT!

November 15, 2010
America Recycles Day
BIRTHDAYS
Joseph Wapner 1919
Petula Clark 1932
Randy Savage 1952

Ask the MAGAZINE ANSWER MAN – Beating a dead horse edition

Dear MAM:
My friend and I have another argument. She says that you know everything about magazines and I say that nobody knows more about magazines than you. Who’s right?
— Johnny Softball, Cincinnati, OH
That’s very flattering, Mr. Softball, but I’m not giving you a raise.

Hey MAM Dude!
Is there a magazine about farm equipment? You know, tractors and threshers and the like. I’d like to get a magazine about farm equipment. Toy ones, not real ones.
— Bambi Youngman, Cedar Rapids, IA
Yes, there’s Toy Farmer.
Dear MAM:
I’m confused. What do you call a magazine that comes out ten times a year?
— Curious in Cleveland
A monthly with two double issues.
Got questions? The Magazine Answer Man has answers! Watch this space for more of them.
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
11/06/10 Knitting Today: Inspire. Create. Share.
*11/06/10 Vogue Best Dressed: Special edition.
11/06/10 Taps: The beer magazine.
11/06/10 Sublime: For creative thinkers and inquiring minds.
*11/03/10 Porsche 911 Turbo: The ultimate guide.
*11/03/10 Vaga Magazine: Limited edition.
*11/03/10 What Was the Hipster?: A sociological investigation.
11/03/10 World At War: The strategy & tactics of World War II.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
There are at lest a quarter of a million known species living in the oceans but there may well be millions of undiscovered marine species.
— December Discover
In 2009, bird-tracking researchers revealed that they had tracked a female bar-tailed godwit that flew from Alaska to New Zealand without stopping.
— November BBC Focus



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CHRISTMAS SUPERSTORE OPEN EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR — EXCEPT CHRISTMAS!

PACK OF WILD DOGS SIGNS NEW MUTUAL AID PACT WITH MURDER OF CROWS

VEGETARIAN CANNIBAL INVENTS TOFUMAN!

COUNT DRACULA CURRENTLY A NIGHT SHIFT RED CROSS VOLUNTEER
“GRAVY BRAINS MAKES ITS OWN GRAVY” DREAMS ZOMBIE DOG

November 8, 2010
World Urbanism Day
BIRTHDAYS
Milton Bradley 1836
Hermann Rorschach 1884
Christie Hefner 1952

EVEN MORE Ask the MAGAZINE ANSWER MAN

Dear MAM:
My friend and I are still arguing. She says that a man who doesn’t read magazines holds no advantage over a man who can’t read magazines and I say that a man who can read magazines but doesn’t is worse off than the man who can’t read them. Who’s right?
— Johnny Softball, Cincinnati, OH
Are you sure you two aren’t already married?

Hey MAM Dude!
Is there a magazine about fire trucks? I’d like to get a magazine about fire trucks. Real ones, not toy ones.
— Bambi Youngman, Cedar Rapids, IA
There’s Fire Apparatus Journal.
Dear MAM:
I’m confused. What’s the difference between a magazine and a book?
— Curious in Cleveland
Don’t get me started. You can differentiate between them by binding, frequency, distribution channel, etc., but the simplest way is to see if there’s a date on it. There’s no June issue of Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain.
Got questions? The Magazine Answer Man has answers! Watch this space for more of them.
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
11/01/10 Zoobooks: 30 years of animal learning fun!
*10/30/10 Predator Nation: Wolves must die.
*10/30/10 Healthy Mind Word-Finds: Have fun while you stay healthy!
*10/30/10 Sports Illustrated presents EARNHARDT: 10th anniversary tribute.
10/30/10 3D Artist: Practical inspiration for 3D. UK.
10/29/10 Comic Book Guy the Comic Book: Best issue ever!
10/29/10 Complete Cardmaking: Make beautiful cards with your PC.
*10/27/10 Admin Magazine: Network & Security. UK.
*10/27/10 How It Works Annual: Science · environment ·technology · transport · history · space. UK.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Not all tastebuds are on your tongue. There are also taste buds on the roof of your mouth and esophagus.
— How It Works Annual
There are over eight thousand more genes in the genome of a grape that in the human genome.
— November 6 Science News



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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NEW MAGAZINE ABOUT NEW MAGAZINES DEVOTES MOST OF ITS FIRST ISSUE TO ITSELF
GOLF BALL SPLITS IN TWO ON TEE SHOT– HALVES GO IN — TO TWO DIFFERENT HOLES!

THE LOVE BOAT! APHRODISIAC IN CRUISE SHIP’S WATER SUPPLY
RESULTS IN MASSIVE ORGIES ON THE LIDO DECK!

IN OCTOBER, 2010, A BASKETBALL SHOW ONCE WORN BY MICHAEL JORDAN IN A 1997 PLAYOFF GAME STILL SMELLED PRETTY BAD
WOOT! COOTS ON TOOT LOOT BOOTS!

November 1, 2010
World Vegan Day
BIRTHDAYS
Larry Flynt 1942
Bobby Heenan 1944
Charlie Kaufman 1958

MORE Ask the MAGAZINE ANSWER MAN

Dear MAM:
My friend and I are having another argument. She says that magazines are better than books and I say that books aren’t as good as magazines. Who’s right?
— Johnny Softball, Cincinnati, OH
Heh, heh, heh — no need for you kids to argue, just agree on the fact that you both love magazines! You two are gonna do just fine!

Hey MAM Dude!
Is there a magazine about chickens? I’d like to get a magazine about chickens.
— Bambi Youngman, Cedar Rapids, IA
How about Backyard Poultry?
Dear MAM:
I’m confused. What’s the difference between a semi-annual and a bi-annual?
— Curious in Cleveland
A semi-annual comes out twice a year and a bi-annual is supposed to come out once every two years.
Got questions? The Magazine Answer Man has answers! Watch this space for more of them.
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*10/22/10 Fons & Porters Love of Quilting East Quilts: Quick | simple | fun.
*10/22/10 Retro Gamer Videogames Hardware Handbook: The games machine collector’s manual. UK.
10/22/10 Artful Living: From Lakes Sotheby’s International Realty.
10/22/10 Making Jewellery: The UK’s best jewellery magazine.
10/22/10 How It Works: The magazine that feeds minds. UK.
10/22/10 M: Make-up store magazine. UK.
10/22/10 Tranoï Magazine: Fashion. France.
*10/20/10 Herb Companion Guide to Healing Herbs: Your healthiest winter ever!
*10/19/10 TIME for Kids The Amazing Fact and Puzzle Book: More than 200 amazing facts.
*10/19/10 J. Gruber’s Garden and Farm Almanac: Conjecture of the weather and other astronomical information.
*10/19/10 Gooseberry Patch Christmas: 115 mouthwatering recipes, simple decorating projects and fun gift ideas.
10/19/10 Arabella: Canadian art, architecture & design magazine.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
In the language of the flowers, marigolds mean, “I’m sorry.”
— 2011 J. Gruber’s Garden and Farm Almanac
Death Valley National Park covers over 3 million acres.
— November Discover



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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MAN YELLED AT AFTER ACCIDENTALLY STEPPING ON MICK JAGGER’S CLOUD
A BARREL PACKED WITH LIVE MONKEYS IS ACTUALLY MORE SAD THAN FUN

IF SUPERVILLAINS REALLY EXISTED WOULD WE KNOW?

IRON CHEF CAT CORA ONCE AGAIN ELUDES THE GRASP OF DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER
ENTIRE CAST OF STAR WARS DIES AFTER VOODOO QUEEN GIVES HER SON A SET OF ACTION FIGURES!

October 25, 2010
Grenadan Thanksgiving
BIRTHDAYS
Leo G. Carroll 1886
Minnie Pearl 1912
Billy Barty 1924

Ask the MAGAZINE ANSWER MAN

Dear MAM:
My friend and I are having an argument. She says that magazines are now better than ever and I say that they’ve ALWAYS been great. Who’s right?
— Johnny Softball, Cincinnati, OH
Heh, heh, heh — no need for you kids to argue, just agree on the fact that you both love magazines! You two are gonna do just fine!

Hey MAM Dude!
When I go to the drug store I see about a hundred magazines there on their rack! They must have every magazine published! Do they?
— Bambi Youngman, Cedar Rapids, IA
A hundred? Not even close! Newsstands like City Newsstand and the Chicago-Main Newsstand carry many thousands of titles and even they don’t have every magazine published. They sure are trying, though!
Dear MGA:
I’m confused. What’s the difference between a biweekly and a semi-monthly?
— Curious in Cleveland
A biweekly comes out 26 times a year and a semi-monthly comes out 24 times a year.
Got questions? The Magazine Answer Man has answers! Watch this space for more of them.
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
10/15/10 Planeta Vino: From Spain.
*10/13/10 Lotus: Your car your magazine. UK.
10/13/10 Suspense Magazine: Suspense, mystery, horror and thriller fiction.
*10/09/10 Taylor Swift – Inside My World: From the editors of US Weekly..
*10/09/10 Bon Appetit Pasta Favorites: Easy and delicious dishes for every night of the week.
10/09/10 H Para Hombres Extremo: En Español.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The official bird of the City of Madison Wisconsin is the pink plastic flamingo.
— November/December Mental Floss
The average human blinks 6,205,000 times in a year.
— October BBC Focus



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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CRYING BOY TOLD THAT HIS VENISON SAUSAGE DIDN’T REALLY COME FROM BAMBI’S MOM AFTER ALL
BRETT FAVRE SAYS HE MAY PITCH FOR BREWERS IN 2011

STRONG WIND BLOWS SMALL DOG FROM INDIANAPOLIS TO CINCINNATI!

BABY RUTH GIVEN TO TRICK-OR-TREATER NOT REALLY A BABY RUTH!
ZOMBIE ARMY LAYS SIEGE TO CAL-TECH CAMPUS

October 18, 2010
Alaska Day
BIRTHDAYS
Bobby Troup 1918
Mike Ditka 1939
Lee Harvey Oswald 1939

Make Your Holiday Great — WITH MAGAZINES!
Are you cooking this Thanksgiving? Need some tips on that perfect turkey or just looking for a new side-dish to add a little pizzazz to your family banquet? There are dozens of magazines out there with TONS of helpful information to help make your annual get-together the best-ever! I know Christmas is a ways off yet but it’s never too early to start you Christmas crafts. Who’s got the best ideas for Christmas crafts? Magazines, of course. The bottom line is, if you’re going to go all-out for your family this holiday season, the first step is a trip to your local newsstand!
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*10/08/10 Men’s Running: UK.
*10/08/10 The Mac Book: The ultimate handbook for Mac owners.
*10/08/10 Cloth Paper Scissors Gifts: Make it handmade!
*10/08/10 Advanced Photoshop The Premium Collection: UK.
10/08/10 Beads & Beyond: The jewellery making magazine for the creative crafter. UK.
10/07/10 Gorgeous Magazine: Creative Sexy Edgy Bold.
*10/06/10 Paved: A brand-new skinny tire magazine from the editors of Bike.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The brain makes up only 2% of a human’s body weight but it receives 15 or 20% of the blood supply.
— November/December Science Illustrated
25% of British businessmen travel with their teddy bears.
— November Harper’s



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
NEW VIDEO GAME ALLOWS YOU TO GET PLAYING HELP FROM THE DEAD!
OHIO MAN NO LONGER KNOWS WHO HE IS AFTER RUSSIAN MAFIA STEALS HIS IDENTITY!

PEOPLE WORKING IN SF ‘PYRAMID’ STARTING TO SHOW SIGNS OF MUMMIFICATION!

BIG WIND BLOWS THROUGH TOWN — SWEEPS AWAY ALL THE GARBAGE!
CITY MORGUE LOST 37 CORPSES IN 2009 ALONE!

October 11, 2010
National Coming Out Day
BIRTHDAYS
Elmore Leonard 1925
Dawn French 1957
Joan Cusack 1962

An Interview Nobody Really Wanted
Editor: What are you doing here?
Mike: I thought I’d drop by and do a little clarification.
Editor: Not about the headlines again…

Mike: You, know, about the headlines.

Editor: Clarification or promotion?

Mike: You editors are sooooo cynical!

Editor: So what is it that you think needs clarifying?

Mike: You know, where the headlines come from, who writes them, whether they’re factual or not.

Editor: That’s easy — the headlines come from your imagination, you write them and they are decidedly NOT factual.

Mike: Yeah, that’s what needs clarifying.

Editor: I don’t see why. We’ve covered this ground many times before.

Mike: I know but I just want to make sure our butts are covered in a legal sense…

Editor: I’m afraid to ask…

Mike: Because I’ve got this great headline about Brett Favre and I don’t want us to get sued.

Editor: That’s easy. As editor I will strike any headline about Brett Favre from City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD and we don’t have to worry.

Mike: I dunno. I really like this headline.

Editor: Well maybe if we put it in some other part of the blog where it’s more obvious that it’s just a joke.

Mike: You mean like in a made-up interview between me and myself?

Editor: That might work.

Mike: OK, here goes: BRETT FAVRE SETS NEW RECORD FOR ‘INCOMPLETE PASSES’

Editor: I understand your concern.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*10/02/10 Training Your Puppy: All about America’s favorite dogs.
*10/02/10 Living Without‘s Gluten-Free Holiday Guide: Favorite gluten-free, dairy-free, allergy-friendly recipes.
*10/02/10 Essence Hot Hair: 590 styles for relaxed, natural & braided.
09/29/10 Komfort Mag: From the Czech Republic.
*09/28/10 The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror: Bonus! Marge Attacks trading cards free inside!
*09/25/10 American Cowboy special John Wayne: Collector’s edition.
*09/25/10 GQ Style Manual: How to be a better dressed man: The complete head to toe guide.
*09/25/10 Holiday Cheer: From Good Housekeeping, Redbook & Country Living.
*09/23/10 Somerset Workshop: Teaching unique crafting techniques from start to finish.
*09/23/10 The Independent Guide to the iPhone 4: +200 apps reviewed. UK

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The smell of Limburger cheese is as attractive to female mosquitoes as the smell of human flesh.
— September BBC Focus
On Hallowe’en in the year 1950, Future movie effects great Ray Harryhausen put on a marionette show for legendary film director Fritz Lang at the home of science fiction giant Ray Bradbury.
— July Famous Monsters of Filmland



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
GERMAN SAUSAGE IS THE WÜRST!
BIGFOOT SIGHTINGS ARE NEVER REPORTED IN TEXAS
BECAUSE TO TEXANS BIGFOOT’S NOT THAT BIG!

WORLD’S LARGEST BALONEY IS A LOT OF BALONEY!

BATS IN AUSTIN, TX START FACEBOOK PETITION
TO GET BATMAN TO MOVE FROM GOTHAM TO AUSTIN!
PEOPLE IN SAN ANTONIO KNOW THAT THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER SOMETHING…

October 4, 2010
World Animal Day
BIRTHDAYS
Buster Keaton 1895
Jan Murray 1916
Tony LaRussa 1944

Random Thoughts and Musings…
For a while it seemed like there weren’t a whole lot of new magazine titles coming in but the New Titles supply is really starting to pick up… To all of you who’ve asked: No, I didn’t catch that big fish I just happened to be standing next to it when the picture was taken… I was just getting ready to enjoy all the Hallowe’en magazines that have come out when our news racks were invaded by the Christmas magazines. I’m really ready for Fall but I sure am not ready for Winter!… Is it me or has Drew Carey been a game show host for so long now that he’s starting to resemble Bill Cullen… To our City Newsstand patrons I want to thank you for your patience during construction. We don’t have any parking directly in front of the store right now but when they’re finished on the other side of Cicero we will have 5 new parking spots in front of the store in addition to the ones that had always been there… OK — here are some of all those new titles now:

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
09/21/10 Tracing Your Irish Roots: A collection of previously published articles from Discovering Family History, Internet Geneaology, and Family Chronicles.
*09/21/10 Watercolor Artist presents Acrylic Artist: Your creative guide to the medium.
09/20/10 Hairdo Ideas Hair Central: Looks for wavy, curly & straight.
*09/19/10 Juicy: Celeb Life · Hair · Beauty.
*09/19/10 Ski Magazine’s Buyers Guide: Special edition.
*09/19/10 LIFE The Royals: An illustrated history of monarchy — from yesterday to today.
*09/17/10 Mayo Clinic Guide to Alternative Medicine: Yoga – vitamins – herbs -acupuncture – meditation.
09/16/10 The View From Here: Literary magazine. UK.
*09/14/10 Automobile Magazine presents Great Shots: The very best in car photography 2000 — 2010.
*09/14/10 Reality Check: Surviving in the real world!

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Oktoberfest is 200 years old this year.
— October / November German Life
Only 3 people in the world know the 23 flavors that make Dr. Pepper.
— October Texas Monthly



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
WORLD’S LARGEST PUMPKIN CARVED INTO THE WORLD’S UGLIEST JACK O’LANTERN!
APPLE CIDER DONUTS MORE ADDICTIVE THAN CRACK!

SCARECROW DOESN’T

This year’s hottest Hallowe’en accessory: CLOWN SHOES FOR BIGFOOT COSTUME!
SENIOR HOME RESIDENTS EXCITED ABOUT GETTING A STAIRMASTER
— UNTIL THEY FIND OUT WHAT IT IS!

September 27, 2010
World Tourism Day
BIRTHDAYS
Jim Thompson 1906
William Conrad 1920
Carl Ballantine

I’m sorry but there will be no column this week as I am away. I’ll be back next week.
–Mike, Lahaina, HI

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
09/11/10 Connected World: The go-to source that connects your life.
*09/10/10 New York Giants Yearbook: New home of the Giants inaugural season.
09/09/10 SD Times: The industry newspaper for Software Development managers.
09/09/10 P.M. Fragen & Antworten: Germany.
09/07/10 Mi Casa: Spain.
09/06/10 Ultimate Adventures: Comics.
*09/04/10 WWE En Español: ¡Increibles!
*09/04/10 National Geographic Ocean: Majestic. Fragile. Fearsome. — Captured by the world’s best photographs.
*09/03/10 (201) Welcome: The absolutely everything guide to living in Bergen.
*09/03/10 Vikings Official Yearbook: Brett’s back.
*09/03/10 The Complete Guide to Digital Painting: Tutorials for creating digital masterpieces.
*09/03/10 Black & White: Master monochrome.
09/02/10 Ozon: UK.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
A tobacco-chewing sheep named Old Ike lived on the White House lawn during Woodrow Wilson’s administration.
— 2011 Farmers’ Almanac
The fourth named storm of the 2011 Atlantic hurricane season will be called Don.
— 2011 Harris’ Farmer’s Almanac



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
NEW SWEET CORN / MALAYSIAN BAMBOO HYBRID IS KNEE-HIGH BY THE THIRD OF JULY!
NEW AIRLINE WILL FLY YOU FROM CHICAGO TO LA
FOR ONLY $59 BUT THE FLIGHT TAKES 13 HOURS!

IN THE ISLAND NATION OF KONA KORA ONLY THE KING IS ALLOWED TO WEAR CLOTHES!

LUAU SHUT DOWN BY AUTHORITIES AFTER GIVING
ITS PATRONS LEIS MADE OF POISON IVY!
SWISS VOLCANO SPEWS CHOCOLATE LAVA!

September 20, 2010
Seventh Day of the Eleusinian Mysteries
BIRTHDAYS
Jay Ward 1920
Anne Meara 1939
Dale Chihuly 1941

STRANGE PHENOMENA — continued from last week
Hallowe’en is rapidly approaching so we thought we’d provide another installment of our semi-regular feature, Strange Phenomena, which culls examples of the odd, the arcane, and the positively eldritch from the pages of such magazines as Fortean Times, Atlantis Rising, and Open Minds.
Paul, the Psychic Octopus. A resident of the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in Germany, this nine-brained, eight-armed wonder correctly predicted the outcomes of eight of eight World Cup matches. Two cups of mussels would be lowered into Paul’s tank , each decorated with the flag of the teams playing in an upcoming match. Paul communicated his preference by moving toward on team’s cup of mussels first. — Fortean Times

The Phantom Harper of Inverary Castle. This spectre acts as a bellwether of death. First noted in 1949 when the 10th Duke of Argyll lay dying at the castle and his attendants, a doctor and a minister, heard a harp playing in an adjoining room. When they came back to the Duke’s bedside after a fruitless search for the Phantom Harper they found that the Duke had expired. — Fortean Times

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*09/01/10 Ebony Ryder Magazine: Your go to source for the Urban Bike Culture.
09/01/10 Long Weekends: Great Lakes & Ohio River Valley edition.
*08/31/10 Storage Ideas & Solutions: Make more space!
*08/31/10 Metal Builder Source Book: From the publishers of Rural Builder.
08/31/10 Eastwood: Repair · restore · revive.
08/31/10 Touchstone: A journal of mere Christianity.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Flying squirrels are nocturnal.
— 2011 The Almanac for Farmers & City Folk
Polar bears take 15 days longer to make than grizzly bears.
— 2011 Blum’s Farmer’s and Planter’s Almanac



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
NEW SODA POP IS 99% BUBBLES!
CHIMP HAS 200-WORD VOCABULARY AND 110 OF THEM ARE SWEAR WORDS!

BLACK & WHITE IS THE NEW 3D

Clint Eastwood, overheard in Palm Springs ordering a milkshake:
“GO AHEAD, MAKE MINE DATE!“
NIGHT WATCHMAN GETS SICK OF WATCHING THE NIGHT

September 13, 2010
Programmer’s Day
BIRTHDAYS
Richard Kiel 1939
David Clayton-Thomas 1941
Annie Duke 1965

STRANGE PHENOMENA
Hallowe’en is rapidly approaching so we thought we’d provide another installment of our semi-regular feature, Strange Phenomena, which culls examples of the odd, the arcane, and the positively eldritch from the pages of such magazines as Fortean Times, Atlantis Rising, and Open Minds.
Sky Critters. Amoeba-like life forms existing in the plasma state that are often mistaken for extraterrestrial spacecraft but are in fact not craft but animals that are of earthly origin. Recently taken photographs show just such atmospheric creatures. — Open Minds

3-Million-Year-Old Humans. Supported by the evidence of the Laetoli Footprints, first found by anthropologist Mary Leakey in Tanzania in 1979, many believe that man in his modern form may have been around millions of years ago. — Atlantis Rising

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*08/28/10 Gourmet Quick Kitchen: 80+ simple dishes.
*08/28/10 Cardmaker presents Fun Folds: 84 projects inside!
08/28/10 Antique Shops & Designers: Bringing the world of interior design into your home.
08/28/10 Essential Homme: Men’s style guide.
08/27/10 Somerset Holidays & Celebrations: Handcrafted projects for special occasions of the year!
*08/24/10 Fearless: Fun Fly Fabulous.
*08/24/10 The Infamous: A graffiti lifestyle magazine.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
About 85,000 crocus flowers are needed to make one pound of saffron which, at up to $2,000/lb., is the world’s most expensive spice.
— 2011 Country Accents Farmer’s Almanac
A tobacco-chewing sheep named Old Ike lived on the White House lawn during Woodrow Wilson’s administration.
— 2011 Farmers’ Almanac



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
NASA’S NEW SPACESUITS MADE FROM SILK SPUN BY 8-FOOT TARANTULAS!
SINCE RECOVERING FROM A BEE STING ON HIS NOSE A TOLEDO MAN
HAS BORNE AN UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE TO BOB HOPE

HAWAI’IAN SETS RECORD BY EATING 100 PINEAPPLES IN A SINGLE DAY — Previous record was 6

MRS. BIGFOOT NO LONGER WELCOME AT LADIES TEA ROOM
HOUSTON RESTAURANT SERVES ROAST LEG OF TARANTULA!

September 6, 2010
Feast of Gondolphus of Metz
BIRTHDAYS
Jo Anne Worley 1937
Carol Wayne 1942
Raymond Benson 1955

JOHNNY CHICAGO — INTIMIDATOR!
The office phone’s ringing interrupted a lovely dream involving multiple blondes and church bells.
“Johnny Chicago Investigations, Johnny speaking.” I monotoned into the receiver.
There was a long silence on the other end followed by a gruff but tentative voice.
“Mr. Chicago?”
I sat up. “Speaking.”
“I heard you were a man who didn’t let, um, scruples, get in the way of getting a job done proper-like. If that’s true, I maybe got a little piece of work for you.”
“I’m listening,” I said cautiously.
“It’s like this,” his gruff voice now somehow oily. “I publish a little magazine here in the Chi, strictly local interest, mostly by subscription.”
There was a long pause
“OK” I interjected to try to get him going again.
“But to drive the subscriptions I need to get it out on the top newsstands in the area, sell a few copies, let people see what it is I’m selling. I’m not looking for a lot of stores, in fact there are only two that I really care about. I must get my mag on their racks if I want it to get noticed in this burg. That’s where you come in.”
“I don’t really get it.” I said, not because I didn’t but because I didn’t think I’d want to.
“Don’t be a chooch! I need you to lean on ’em a little bit. Nothin’ too heavy, mind you, just a little “suggestion” that sort of thing.”
I was right. I didn’t like it one bit. I think I knew a way out, though.
“By any chance are the two stores City Newsstand in Chicago and the Chicago-Main Newsstand in Evanston?”
“Could be,” the voice said, suddenly suspicious.
“Could be my eye — of course it’s them. They’re the two largest magazine stores in Chicagoland. If they ain’t got it people figure it don’t exist. Have you talked to them about your magazine yet?”
“No,” he replied meekly. “But look, they’re the big boys and I’m just an independent operator. They ain’t gonna wanna deal with me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, my friend. Both stores are always happy to deal with independent publishers and are particularly interested in selling local publications. Give me your number and I’ll have them call you.”
Before he was willing to give me his number he wanted to know how much I was going to charge him but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him for any cash. Dealing with City Newsstand is too easy. When I was done I put my Florsheims back up on the desk where they belonged, cocked my fedora forward over my eyes, leaned back in my swivel and finished my nap.
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*08/21/10 LIFE The Most Notorious Crimes in American History: Dastardly deeds.
*08/21/10 The Red Flag Guide for Buying a New Car: 25 easy steps to follow.
*08/21/10 Creative Knitting presents Accessorize with Style: Create 49 accessories for all occasions!
*08/21/10 Celebrity Collector’s Edition: Angelina Jolie.
*08/21/10 Glamour Special Edition: 1,000 dos & don’ts to dress by forever.
08/20/10 Mathews Bowhunting Whitetails: Big bucks.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The heaviest elephant ever recorded weighed over 27,000 pounds.
— LIFE Wonders of Life
The fourth named storm of the 2011 Atlantic hurricane season will be called Don.
— 2011 Harris’ Farmer’s Almanac



City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
BALD EAGLES GOING BALD!

THUNDERBIRD SNATCHES 8- YEAR-OLD FROM NEW MEXICO BALLOON RALLY!

SECRET MISSILE BASE IN NILES, IL DISGUISED AS LEANING TOWER OF PISA REPLICA!

SAUSAGE STORE OWNER DENIES EXISTENCE OF SECRET UNDERGROUND BREEDING FACILITY
I-94 NOW RUNS DIRECTLY FROM MT TO MN, BYPASSING ND ENTIRELY!

August 30, 2010
International Day of the Disappeared
BIRTHDAYS
Robert Crumb 1943
Molly Ivins 1944
Tug McGraw 1944

MORE CHILLING REMINDERS OF THINGS TO COME
A couple weeks ago I told you about some of the periodical harbingers of Autumn that had begun cropping up on our shelves. More have arrived in the meantime, including one that’s truly chilling. Fall is when the new Farmer’s Almanacs arrive, full of planting advice and folksy wisdom. So far we’ve already seen 2011 editions of The Old Farmer’s Almanac — The Original Farmer’s Almanac, Farmers’ Almanac — Grow Your Life, Country accents Farmer’s Almanac — 279th Anniversary, Harris’ Farmer’s Almanac — Inspired by the Original Harris’ Almanack, and The Almanac for Farmers & City Folk. In addition, the October Midwest Living tells you where to find the fall color and how to make the pumpkin vase featured on the cover. Woman’s Day Halloween Celebrations contains 184 spooky ideas, super-easy crafts & creative costumes for the whole family. The Martha Stewart Halloween Handbook offers more than 150 enchanting ideas for costumes, decor, tricks, and treats. Finally Woman’s Day Budget Celebrations gives us more than just Pumpkin Carving Tips & Tricks, it features 25 Fast Decorating Ideas for Christmas — yes — CHRISTMAS! ARRRRGGGHHH!
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*08/19/10 Jones: The shopping guide for women who know better.
*08/19/10 Guide to Easy Jewelry Designs: Bead & Button special.
*08/19/10 KnitSimple Knitting Workshops: Clever tips & techniques that will guarantee success.
08/19/10 Malibu Magazine: Bi-monthly.
08/19/10 Anna: German edition.
08/19/10 Photographie: Germany.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
There exist no documented sightings of a left-handed walrus.
— Sept./Oct. Mental Floss

Jumping gene comparison studies suggest that all Australian marsupials (kangaroos, wallabies, koalas, etc.) arose from a single South American ancestor species.
— August 28 Science News

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
BATMAN IS A VAMPIRE!

CRUISE CREWS CRUISE! Actor to work on ship

ANDREW ZIMMERN’S AMAZING WEDDING CAKE IS FILLED WITH GREAT BIG HAIRY SPIDERS!

CHICAGO RIVER SECRETLY HARBORS HUNDREDS OF HUNGRY ALLIGATORS!
ILLINOIS TOWN OF 10,000 HAS NO NAME AND IS SHOWN ON NO MAP!

August 23, 2010
International Day for the Remembrance
of the Slave Trade and its Abolition
BIRTHDAYS
Jimi Jamison 1951
Ray Park 1974
Rex Grossman 1980

BEATLEMANIA LIVES!
Last Sunday, thanks to the nice folks at WLS-FM 94.7, I was privileged to attend The Fest for Beatles Fans at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare. A splendid time was guaranteed for all and they made good on the guarantee. Mark Hudson’s rendition of ‘I’m Down’ is still running through my head. The story behind ‘I’m Down’ and each of 99 other Beatles songs is explained in The Beatles: 100 Greatest Songs, a special collectors edition from Rolling Stone. For any Beatles fan, this magazine is a wonderful resource, filled with photos and inside information that only hardcore Beatles aficionados would find familiar and I suspect that many of them would still find some new insights here. Every weekday after 4:25 pm Greg Brown does the Beatles Break on WLS-FM and I always love to listen. He plays a Beatles song but before he does he provides interesting facts about its creation. Reading The Beatles: 100 Greatest Songs is like 100 Beatles Breaks at one sitting!
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*08/16/10 Sportsform Football Annual: The ultimate handicapping resource.
*08/15/10 Grilled! Tailgating Special: 65 recipes for the ultimate tailgating party.
08/13/10 Texas Sportsman: The best hunting and fishing.
08/13/10 Materia: Made in Italy.
*08/12/10 Nordic Vision: Dark musical visions from the Land of the Midnight Sun.
*08/12/10 Inked Girls: Beautiful women, Beautifully tattooed.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
There are only two White Castles in Wisconsin.
— August Wisconsin Trails

24 hours worth of video is uploaded to YouTube every minute.
— August BBC Focus

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
Fangs for the Memory! — WAS BOB HOPE A VAMPIRE?

HOW MANY SHAVED BIGFOOTS PLAY IN THE NFL?

MAUL OF AMERICA! — Cougar Runs Amok at Minnesota Shopping Center!

JOLLY GREEN GIANT STEAL BABE THE BLUE OX FROM PAUL BUNYAN!
GHOSTS OF ELVIS & LIBERACE WALK THE STREETS OF LAS VEGAS UNNOTICED

August 16, 2010
Gozan no Okuribi
BIRTHDAYS
Hugo Gernsback 1884
Bill Evans 1929
Julie Newmar 1933

GOODBYE SUMMER — HELLO FALL!
It seems like we’re still in the thickest, hottest, muggiest & buggiest part of Summer, but here at the newsstand there are plentiful signs foreshadowing the coming of Autumn. Land O Lakes Harvest Baking contains over 70 tips for sweet and savory fall favorites. My favorite are the candy-corn cookies. Betty Crocker Halloween presents 340 wickedly clever recipes & tips including spooktacular cupcakes so easy kids can make them. Taste of Home Ultimate Halloween is the complete guide to a spooky season, featuring fun food, cute costumes, easy crafts, best parties, pumpkin carving & more! Best Recipes Halloween offers lots of diabolically delicious food, fun & crafts. So now that football has started it’s just a matter of time before a chill wind plucks the shriveled leaves off the trees and swirls them around our knees!
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*08/06/10 Computer Arts presents iPad: The creative pro’s guide.
*08/04/10 AfroCaribe International Magazine: Bridging the gap.
*08/04/10 The Lab Magazine: A melting pot of perspectives and ideas.
08/04/10 Gladys: Inspiration for life.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
When Martha Stewart is done with her Today Shoe appearance on September 29th she’s planning to spend the rest of the day harvesting the first pumpkins and gourds of the season.
— September Martha Stewart Living

At $2,500 per ounce, rhodium is the most expensive element on Earth.
— September Discover

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
MOOSE’S TRICK FAILS TO IMPRESS FLYING SQUIRREL

CALIFORNIA TEEN SO HAPPY TO BE “GETTING AROUND”
THAT HE’S STILL SINGING ABOUT IT 50 YEARS LATER

STEVE STONE THINKS ABOUT BLOWING HIS NOSE, DECIDES AGAINST IT

Cub Fan: “IT’S ONLY AUGUST!”
HEY! THAT’S NOT BLUE CHEESE!

August 9, 2010
Frank Zappa Day
BIRTHDAYS
Charles Fort 1874
Sam Elliott 1944
Vinny Del Negro 1966

THE INDIANA JONES™ EXPERIENCE
Many of you have commented on our new pre-store enhancement, The Indiana Jones™ Experience — The Adventure of a Lifetime, which the city has so generously set up in front of our store on Cicero Avenue. We thank you for all your kind words of praise for this exciting new attraction. It’s a great way to get some exercise as well a real source of intellectual stimulation. As we like to say, it’s truly a-MAZE-ing! Seriously, though, we’d like to take this time to thank all the people who have made it into our store during the street improvements for making the extra effort to come in. We know it’s been a bit of a challenge and we truly appreciate your loyalty. Thanks again!
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*08/02/10 Life With Archie: The married life.
*08/02/10 Maple Street Press Broncos Annual: Rising up.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Mother Teresa’s real name as Agnes Bojaxhiu
— TIME Mother Teresa at 100

Funnyman Bill Murray claims he agreed to star in ‘Garfield’ after seeing that the script was co-written by Joel Cohen and that it wasn’t until he was recording his part that he realized it wasn’t Ethan Coen’s brother Joel.
— August GQ

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
SENSATIONAL LOTTERY TICKET KILLINGS ENIGMATIZE AUTHORITIES!

Wall Street Update: TOM CRUISE SELLS SHORT!

HONEYBURGERS MADE OF 100% USDA CHOICE GROUND BEES!

DOGGY STILL IN WINDOW
BRONZE STATUE OF JACK BRICKHOUSE SHEDS TEARS OF BLOOD!

August 2, 2010
Feast of Eusebius of Verecelli
BIRTHDAYS
Myrna Loy 1905
Mojo Nixon 1957
Sam Worthington 1976

NO, REALLY — WHAT’S UP WITH THOSE HEADLINES?
As we’ve attempted to make clear on numerous occasions, the headlines in our regular feature, City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD, are made up by the guy pictured above. They are not meant to be confused with fact. But why do we do it? What is the reason for this feature? After all, the headlines therein are patently false. Last week we took the time to ask the creator of City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD those and other questions. All week long his answers have had us scratching our heads so we decided to ask a few more pertinent questions in hopes of getting back more impertinent answers.

CN: So what publications do you take the headlines from, now?

MO: They’re not from any publications. They’re totally original, entirely fabricated headlines.
CN: But where are the stories that go with the headlines?
MO: There aren’t any stories. The headline says it all.

CN: I don’t get it.

MO: That’s OK.

CN: So if there are no stories and the headlines say it all what are they, a new form of humor or poetry or something?

MO: Something like that.

CN: I don’t think they’re very funny.

MO: That’s OK.

CN: Some of the words go together kinda nice…

MO: Thank you.
CN: I still don’t really get it.

MO: Neither do I, sometimes.

CN: Is that new picture really you?
MO: More or less.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*07/26/10 Crochet World presents Afghans!: 44 incredible designs from easy to expert.
*07/26/10 Country’s Best Cabins: A special issue of Country’s Best Log Homes.
07/26/10 Science News: Magazine of the Society for Science & the Public.
07/21/10 LOFT the Nordic Bookazine: Printed in Sweden.
07/21/10 Sepp: Football fashion magazine. Germany.
*07/20/10 Phil Steele’s Western Regional 2010 Preview: Who reigns in the West?
*07/20/10 Climate Solutions: Denmark Special.
07/20/10 Cottages & Bungalows: Live the dream.
07/20/10 Engagement 101: The magazine to read before you get engaged.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Leviathan Melvillei was a hypercarnivorous sperm whale (now extinct) that was over 50 feet long and had 14-inch teeth. It ate other whales.
— July 31 Science News
When did The Rolling Stones, Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band, The Beach Boys, Frank Sinatra, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Journey, Michael Jackson, Bob Marley & the Wailers and Pink Floyd all have an album on Billboard’s Hot 200 at the same time? July 2010.
— July 31 Billboard

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
THAT’S NOT A DATE SHAKE — IT’S A COCKROACH SMOOTHIE!

VAMPIRES IN GRAVE DANGER OF EXTINCTION!

WEREWOLF BIT A LITTLE BOY BECAUSE HE ‘WANTED A PUPPY”!

LIVE CHIHUAHUAS MAKE LOUSY FISHBAIT!
FORGET THE FULL MOON — IT’S THE MOONLESS NIGHTS WHEN ALL THE REALLY STRANGE STUFF HAPPENS!

July 26, 2010
Feast of Blessed Andrew of Phu Yen
BIRTHDAYS
Jean Shepherd 1921
Hoyt Wilhelm 1923
Daniel Negreanu 1974

WHAT’S UP WITH ALL THOSE GOOFY HEADLINES?
As we’ve attempted to make clear on numerous occasions, the headlines in our regular feature, City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD, are made up by the guy pictured above. They are not meant to be confused with fact. But why do we do it? What is the reason for this feature? After all, the headlines therein are patently false. We took the time to ask the creator of City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD those and other questions.

CN: What’s the origin of City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD?

MO: We used to do a feature called the Top Ten Tabloid Headlines wherein we reprinted headlines from the various tabloid newspapers. We singled out headlines that caught our eye as being particularly clever, entertaining, or just downright lurid. As time went on we realized that most of the better headlines were from just one tabloid — the Weekly World News. We made an effort to make sure we included a few headlines from the Sun just so it didn’t become the Top Ten WWN Headlines.
CN: So why aren’t you doing that anymore?
MO: Because they stopped publishing the Weekly World News. For a while we facetiously reported sightings of eldritch copies of WWN a la the WWN‘s own reportage after the death of Elvis Presley. For those reports we were making up headlines. After a while the joke got kind of stale so we created City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD.

CN: You keep saying “we”. Who are you referring to when you say “we”?

MO: Mike Oelrich.

CN: In other words, you.

MO: Yes.

CN: Why are you so hard on poor Tom Cruise?

MO: We think he can take a joke.

CN: We?

MO: We. Me. You. We’re all the same person.
CN: So why are you interviewing yourself? Why not just write this in the first person?

MO: I am writing in the first person: It’s you who is writing in the third person.

CN: LOL! You’ve got me there!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*07/19/10 Flight Journal Pacific Fighters: Deadly Dogfights!
07/17/10 Retro Gamer Collection: The essential guide to classic videogames.
07/17/10 A & W: Architektur & Wohnen. In German with English summaries.
07/17/10 AFV Modeller: UK.
07/17/10 Air Modeller: UK.
07/17/10 Max Modeller: UK.
*07/15/10 Badger Kickoff 2010: Full steam ahead.
*07/14/10 The Nest: From The Knot.
*07/13/10 Industrie: The world’s first culture of fashion magazine. UK.
*07/13/10 Cooking Light 5 Ingredient 15 Minute Recipes: Everyday recipes and cooking tips for entrées, sides, salads and more.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
On the Forbes Celebrity 100, an index of wealth and power among the famous, David Letterman ranks 10 spots above Jay Leno, Miley Cyrus is 20 spots above Donald Trump, and, as faded as her career might seem, Britney Spears still ranks 50 spots above ‘Knight and Day’ star Tom Cruise.
— July 19 Forbes
Larger Venus Fly Traps have been known to capture and consume creatures as large as small frogs.
— Summer BBC Focus

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
‘WIGGLEBUTT WILLIE’ WINS WISCONSIN WEIMARANER EVENT

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN SPRINGS TEEN!: Rock star posts bail for fan

SENSATIONAL LOOSE-MEAT SANDWICH MURDERS PUZZLE POLICE

WHAT YOU TOP YOUR HOT DOG WITH SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU!
HONG KONG KING KONG PLAYS PING PONG FOR DING DONGS!

July 19, 2010
Feast of Macrina the Younger
BIRTHDAYS
Max Fleischer 1883
Anthony Edwards 1962
Vitali Klitschko 1971

NEW FAD SWEEPING THE NATION — READING!
(excerpted from the Alabama Free Gazette, an entirely fictitious publication)

Once America’s favorite form of entertainment, reading is making a comeback in a big way. “I just got so sick of multitasking and having to have the latest gadget,” says Brian McHope, a junior at Pennsylvania’s Pendleton University. “I pick up a paperback and I’m off in another world. It’s linear and before I know it 4 hours are gone and I’ve enjoyed myself immensely.”
Heidi Lindt, an Akron, OH soccer mom, agrees. “I used to hate all the reading I had to do in college but recently I find that now that I’m doing it for myself and not because I have to I simply LOVE picking up a magazine or a book and just shutting out the world. It’s just one thing, you know? It’s not watching TV, talking on the phone, making out a grocery list and watching that the food on the stove doesn’t boil over all at once. It’s just one thing and I cherish that.”
Perhaps it’s time that you found out what Brian, Heidi and millions of others already know — Reading is a wonderful pastime!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*07/09/10 Maple Street Press Here Come The Irish: Takeoff!
*07/09/10 Don Balon Extra Mudial Sudafrica 2010: GOOOOOOOOOAL!
*07/09/10 Get Your Book Published: See your work in print.
07/08/10 Schön: Created by the energy of nineteen74.com.
*07/06/10 The Best of Watercolor: The ultimate guide to watercolor painting materials, techniques & inspirations.
07/06/10 Riesen Ratsel Revue: Deutschland.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
As a breed, Nankin chickens make good pets.
— Summer Chickens
The White-Letter Hairstreak, Silver-Washed Fritillary and Scotch Argus are all butterflies indigenous to the UK.
— July BBC Wildlife

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
SECRET TUNNEL FROM WHITE HOUSE TO CAPITOL IS WHERE BIDEN PLAYS BEER PONG

PROMINENT PETA MEMBER WHO WON’T WEAR WOLF IS A WEREWOLF!

SENSATIONAL TWIST-TIE MURDERS FRUSTRATE POLICE

WORLD’S BIGGEST WIENER EATEN BY WORLD’S BIGGEST WIENER!
AFTER BEING TOLD HE’S FULL OF BALONEY MAN SWITCHES TO SUMMER SAUSAGE

July 12, 2010
Feast of Hermagorus and Fortunatus
BIRTHDAYS
Milton Berle 1908
Walter Murch 1943
Ben Burtt 1948
QUIZ: HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN PUBLISHED?
This week we present a quiz. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to match the magazine titles on the left with the years they were first published (on the right). Good luck!

Magazines
1 Cosmopolitan

2 Details

3 Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine

4 Esquire

5 High Times

6 Martha Stewart Living

7 O the Oprah Magazine

8 Playboy

9 Redbook

10 Rolling Stone

11 Scientific American

12 Time

Years

A 1845

B 1886

C 1903

D 1923

E 1932

F 1941

G1953

H 1967

I 1974

J 1982

K 1990

L 2000

Scroll down for answers
NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*07/05/10 Kettlebell: Sport & fitness.
07/02/10 Men’s Health FUEL: Peak health & fitness on a plate. UK.
06/30/10 Kochen & Geniessen: Deutschland.
06/30/10 Lisa Kochen & Backen: Über 100 rezept-ideen.
*06/29/10 She Pedals: The journal of women in cycling.
06/29/10 Muzzleloader: The publication for black powder shooters.
06/29/10 The Cowboy Way: The journal of the PARAGON Foundation, Inc.
06/29/10 Sew Hip!: The UK’s no. 1 sewing magazine.
06/29/10 Hunter and Cook: Published by the Canada Council for the Arts.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
There are 5,113 operational warheads in the U.S. nuclear stockpile.
— July-August Discover

Scientists estimate that as recently as 10,000 years ago there were only 10 million humans worldwide.
— Summer Discover presents Origins

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
New study: EATING POI HAS A CALMING EFFECT

7-FOOT DOORWAYS LEAD TO ACLU FILING AN ADA SUIT ON BEHALF OF GIRAFFES!

Now it can be told: ROY ROGERS’ HORSE TRIGGER STUFFED WITH CRISPY RICE TREATS!

Strange but true: ANTEATERS TASTE KIND OF MINT-Y!
WORLD’S LARGEST PIANO HAS OVER 200 KEYS AND CAN ONLY BE HEARD BY DOGS

Answers to Quiz: 1B, 2J, 3F, 4E, 5I, 6K, 7L, 8G, 9C, 10H, 11A, 12D

July 5, 2010
Tynwald Day
BIRTHDAYS
P.T. Barnum 1891
Goose Gossage 1951
Bill Watterson 1958

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*06/27/10 Eulogy: The world’s first magazine to celebrate life and death.
*06/27/10 iPhone Games Directory: Your unmissable guide to iPad, iPhone and iPod games.
*06/27/10 Digital Photographer’s Complete Photography Handbook: Over 200 pages of essential advice. UK.
*06/27/10 Contributor Magazine: Fashions. Printed in Sweden.
*06/27/10 Lindy’s Sports Atlantic Coast: Football. 2010 Preview.
06/27/10 A Perfect Magazine: Fashion & Travel. UK.
06/27/10 Joy: Magazin für Frauen.
*06/24/10 Madame: Printed in Germany.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
One ton of ore must be processed to make one pure-gold wedding band.
— July-August Science Illustrated

President James K. Polk was so short that his arrival at functions often went unnoticed. As a result, the First Lady asked that the marines play “Hail to the Chief” when he first entered, a tradition that continues even with today’s taller presidents.
— July BBC Focus

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
Zombie Spokesman: “WE DIDN’T ASK TO BE REANIMATED!”

Scientist: FRIED CHICKEN IS ACTUALLY GOOD FOR YOU!

SENSATIONAL POPSICLE MURDERS LEAVE POLICE BAFFLED

FLAGSTAFF JAYCEES PLAN TO FILL THE GRAND CANYON WITH POPCORN!
NORTH DAKOTA MAN TO RIDE BICYCLE FROM SAN FRANCISCO TO HONOLULU

June 27, 2010
Siebenschläfertag
BIRTHDAYS
Willie Mosconi 1913
Bob Keeshan 1927
J.J. Abrams 1966

Editor’s Note: Mike is currently out of town so there will be no editorial this week.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.
*06/19/10 Linux & Open Source Genius Guide: The essential guide to mastering open source software and operating systems.
*06/18/10 The Kickoff College Football Preview: Outlook of all 120 Division 1 FBS schools.
*06/17/10 Pro Riding Secrets Magazine: Learn how to ride like a pro.
06/16/10 NASCAR’s Best: The top 10 greatest driver, mechanics and owners.
06/16/10 CanTeens: Writing and art by seventh graders.
06/16/10 Desert Fish: A showcase of fashion meets fine art photography.
06/16/10 Yarn Forward: For knitters who want more.
*06/15/10 Scrapbook Inspirations Ideas Book: Create perfect pages with the ultimate guide to scrapbooking. UK.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Ryan Island in Michigan’s Isle Royal National Park is the largest island on the largest lake on the largest island on the largest lake in the world.
— July-Aug Mental Floss

Mork & Mindy’s house is still there at 1619 Pine Street in Boulder, CO.
— Vol VIII number 2 American Road

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!
KNIGHT AND DAY YOU AREN’T THE ONE!

WHEN IT COMES TO CONSIDERING THE TOP MOVIE STARS OF ALL TIME,
TOM CRUISE IS JUST SHORT!

WILL “LESTAT GOES TO HIGH SCHOOL” MARK THE ‘TWILIGHT’ OF CRUISE’S CAREER?

TOM CRUISE TO BOUNCE BACK IN “COCKTAIL 3D!”
EVEN THOUGH HE’S MUCH OLDER, KATIE HOLMES’ HUSBAND REALLY LOOKS UP TO HER

June 21, 2010
World Music Day
BIRTHDAYS
Judy Holliday 1921
Lalo Schifrin 1932
Joe Flaherty

HEADLINES THAT ARE BETTER THAN THE STORY

Tabloids have done it forever, writing headlines that draw you into a story that wouldn’t even be in print if it didn’t make such a great headline. It’s a real art. I’ll give you a few examples.

“MY WIFE WAS BITTEN BY A BENGAL TIGER ON OUR HONEYMOON!!”

This is a true story. It’s not very interesting, though. On their honeymoon a couple visited a zoo where they had the opportunity to play with a couple of young tigers. One of them bit the wife on her bare leg. It didn’t even break the skin, however, so while it’s a great headline it’s not much of a story.

“AN ALIEN TOOK MY BELLYBUTTON!”

This sounds totally wacko but it’s 100% true and about 99% boring. A man underwent surgery to repair an umbilical hernia and the surgeon had to cut around his navel and remove it altogether. The alien part? The surgeon was born outside the U.S.

“MAN EATING ALLIGATOR AT LOCAL HOT DOG JOINT!”

I personally am a man who’s often eaten alligator at my favorite hot dog joint. I’ve also eaten rattlesnake, rabbit and kangaroo. They make great sausages.

In conclusion, when you see a headline that seems just too wild to be true, whether it’s on a weekly tabloid, a magazine or even your own hometown newspaper, read the story and you may find out that while it may be true it may not be as wild as it sounds!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*06/12/10 The Complete Guide to the iPad: 100s of tips inside. UK.
*06/10/10 XXL Juicy: Celeb life · hair · beauty.
*06/10/10 Yum Food & Fun: Simple, delicious ideas on food and entertaining.
06/10/10 Zeit Wissen: Bimonthly from Germany.
06/09/10 Hamptons: From the publisher of Michigan Avenue.
*06/08/10 Cavalier Literary Couture: Inaugural issue!
*06/08/10 Materiel: Sister publication of Proximity.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
It’s legal for first cousins to marry in 19 states.
— July Harper’s

The way thin-crust pizza is cut in Chicago — in squares — is called “party-cut.”
— June/July Reader’s Digest

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

OLD GOAT LOOKS SHEEPISH

KNIGHT AND DAY THE BEST ACTION COMEDY SINCE LAST WEEK’S ASHTON KUTCHER VEHICLE WE’VE ALREADY FORGOTTEN THE NAME OF

Now it can be told: LBJ WORKED AS A CLOWN AT KID’S BIRTHDAY PARTIES!

ZOMBIE DOG’S FAVORITE LIVER TREAT IS AN ACTUAL HUMAN LIVER!

OTHER THAN JEREMIAH, MOST BULLFROGS PREFER NON-BIBLICAL NAMES

June 14, 2010
World Blood Donor Day
BIRTHDAYS
Burl Ives 1909
Gene Barry 1919
Cy Coleman 1929

Okay, Mike is back from his “rest.” Now he’s just being lazy. He assures us, however, that there will be some sort of editorial content at the head of next week’s entry for whatever that’s worth….

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*06/05/10 Easy Wire: Great wire jewelry made simple!
*06/05/10 Remembering Michael: One year without the King of Pop.
*06/03/10 Photoshop Image Editing: Learn the skills needed to instantly improve images.
*06/02/10 TRNSFR: Rats! Bunnies! Horse Butts!
*06/02/10 Soccer America Complete Guide to the World Cup: Expert preview of all 32 teams.
*06/02/10 USA Today World Cup: Expert predictions of the teams to beat.
06/02/10 Cuba Plus: Quarterly.
06/02/10 Motivated Magazine: Pairing passion with purpose.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Michael Jackson tried to have the negative of the Thriller video destroyed before it was released for fear of being excommunicated by the Jehovah’s Witnesses for promoting demonism.
— July Vanity Fair

There’s a 46-foot-long steel and stucco buffalo in Jamestown, North Dakota.
— June/July Reader’s Digest

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

ON THIS BEACH NONE OF THE SUNBATHERS HAS A BELLYBUTTON!

AGENT ARGUES THAT IF MERYL STREEP IS TALL ENOUGH TO PLAY JULIA CHILD
THEN TOM CRUISE IS TALL ENOUGH TO PLAY GARY COLEMAN

CHAOS REIGNS WHEN MAN DUMPS SACKFUL OF SQUIRRELS IN MIDDLE OF DOG PARK!

71% OF THIS FALL’S CHILDREN’S BOOKS ARE ABOUT VAMPIRES

Study: MEN WHO LIKE SMOKE & LIGHTNING ARE 38% MORE LIKELY
TO HAVE BEEN BORN TO BE WILD

June 6, 2010
Feast of Claude the Thaumaturge
BIRTHDAYS
Aram Khatchaturian 1903
Larry Lujack 1940
Sandra Bernhard 1955

While Mike is away getting some much needed, um, “rest”, we’ll continue to post the usual features but we’ll have to wait until Mike is back to resume the editorials at the top of the page. The editors apologize for the inconvenience.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*06/01/10 Imagine FX presents How to Draw and Paint Anatomy: 85 pages of workshops. UK.
*06/01/10 Model Boats Commemorative Special: Celebrating 60 years as the world’s leading model boats magazine.
05/28/10 Little White Lies: Truth & Movies. UK.
*05/25/10 Vegetarian Times presents Farmers Market Cookbook: 82 healthy recipes starring summer’s best flavors.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Goalies World Magazine ranks the Blackhawks’ Antti Niemi and the Flyers’ Michael Leighton the 32nd and 37th best goalies in the NHL, respectively.
— May-June Goalies World

The highest-risk location in the U.S. for hurricanes is Miami, FL where each year there is a 25% chance of one striking.
— National Geographic Society — Nature’s Fury

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

RASH OF MAN-GAROO SIGHTINGS KEEPS LOCAL COPS HOPPING!

WWE FANS DISAPPOINTED WHEN SCHEDULED BATTLE ROYAL DETERIORATES INTO A HOCKEY GAME!

POGS, PUGS & PIGS — PEG’S COLLECTIONS ARE RATED PG!

SNOOP DOGG CHASES KATT WILLIAMS AROUND HOTEL SUITE!

ELVIS IMPERSONATOR IN CRITICAL CONDITION AFTER BEING STRUCK BY HUNK OF BURNIN’ LOVE

May 31, 2010
World No Tobacco Day
BIRTHDAYS
Fred Allen 1894
Chris Elliott 1960
Jake Peavy 1981

While Mike is away getting some much needed, um, “rest”, we’ll continue to post the usual features but we’ll have to wait until Mike is back to resume the editorials at the top of the page. The editors apologize for the inconvenience.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*05/22/10 Daily Express World Cup 2010: Free mega World Cup wall chart.
*05/21/10 Guitar Tech: The in-depth guide for the recording guitarist.
*05/21/10 Blend\: Fashion Music Art Culture Media People. Belgium.
05/20/10 Irish Quilt & Craft Magazine: A Fenner Shed publication.
05/19/10 Marianne: From France.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Just under 6% of everyone in the world now has a Facebook account.
— June BBC Focus

60% of British elementary school students think that Isaac Newton discovered fire.
— June Harper’s

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

50 Y.O. MAN ENTERS BUILDING IN THE MORNING AND IN THE AFTERNOON LEAVES,
NOW OVER 90!

CRAZY DOG THINKS HE’S HUMAN!

BEWARE THE CURSE OF THE MAN-GAROO!

Mystery Solved: LOUIE LOUIE IS ACTUALLY ABOUT SEAFOOD SALADS!

COLLEGE STUDENT SETS NEW RECORD BY EATING 213 KOLACKYS IN 10 MINUTES!

May 24, 2010
Victoria Day
BIRTHDAYS
Bob Dylan 1941
Gary Burghoff 1943
Alfredo Molina 1953

While Mike is away getting some much needed, um, “rest”, we’ll continue to post the usual features but we’ll have to wait until Mike is back to resume the editorials at the top of the page. The editors apologize for the inconvenience.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*05/15/10 Go Pix!: 10 huge posters & 10 pinups inside!
*05/15/10 Alt by Show: Body art · latex · fetish.
*05/15/10 Bound by Ink: Various lifestyles & cultures bound by ink.
*05/15/10 South Asian Bride Magazine: Create the memorable day.
*05/15/10 House Beautiful 500+ Paint Colors: The ultimate paint guide.
*05/15/10 The People Puzzler Goes Hollywood: Packed with 7 kinds of puzzles.
*05/14/10 Atlanta Braves: The official 2010 souvenir program of the Atlanta Braves.
*05/12/10 Private Islands: A lifestyle for the independent adventurous personality.
*05/12/10 Indigo: Inspiration, engagement and vision.
*05/12/10 Girls of Hustlenomics: Collectors edition.
*05/10/10 Disney · Pixar Toy Story 3: Official movie magazine.
05/10/10 Elevator: Private equity // luxury // philanthropy.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The most expensive hotel room in the world is the Royal Penthouse Suite at the President Wilson Hotel in Geneva, Switzerland. It costs $55,000 a night to stay in it.
— June Travel + Leisure

Risky Business, The Dark Knight, The Color of Money, The Blues Brothers, The Fugitive, The Untouchables, and Ferris Beuller’s Day Off were all filmed in Chicago.
— June Chicago

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

SURGEON BAFFLED WHEN SHE CUTS PATIENT OPEN AND FINDS HIS ABDOMEN FULL OF HOT, CRISPY WAFFLES!

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY KANGAROOS IN RHODE ISLAND?

MURDERED MAN TRACKS DOWN HIS OWN KILLER!

WERECOYOTES ARE SICK OF WEREWOLVES GETTING ALL THE ATTENTION

INVISIBLE MAN SIGHTINGS UP 41%!

May 17, 2010
World Information Society Day
BIRTHDAYS
Erik Satie 1866
Bill Bruford 1949
Craig Ferguson 1962

While Mike is away getting some much needed, um, “rest”, we’ll continue to post the usual features but we’ll have to wait until Mike is back to resume the editorials at the top of the page. The editors apologize for the inconvenience.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*05/07/10 Creative Beads & Jewellry: Australia.
*05/07/10 U.S. Navy Airpower: Stunning pictures of Hornets, Prowlers, Hawkeyes, Helicopters operating in harm’s way.
05/07/10 Contact Air Land & Sea: The Australian military magazine.
05/07/10 Get Lost: Unique travel. Australia.
05/07/10 Ultimate: Boating and lifestyle magazine. Australia.
05/07/10 Collecting Bears & Dolls: For serious collectors. Australia.
*05/01/10 Dinnertime!: 98 easy recipes from the folks who bring you Family Fun.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
10 billion songs have been sold on Apple’s iTunes store.
— May BBC Focus

The arctic tern travels an average of 44,000 miles during its annual migration.
— June Discover

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

Chicago Man: ‘AN ALIEN TOOK MY BELLYBUTTON!’

WAFFLE-BOY STRIKES AGAIN!

AFTER JUST ONE DATE, FLUFFY THE ANTEATER LOSES INTEREST IN HIS FORMER ROMANTIC OBSESSION, PRISCILLA THE PORCUPINE

ANIMAL ACTIVISTS SEEK TO SHUT DOWN BAKERY SELLING ELEPHANT EARS!

ZOMBIE DOG CAN’T STAND CAULIFLOWER

May 10, 2010
Feast of Calepodius
BIRTHDAYS
Nancy Walker 1922
Graham Gouldman 1946
Bono 1960

While Mike is away getting some much needed, um, “rest”, we’ll continue to post the usual features but we’ll have to wait until Mike is back to resume the editorials at the top of the page. The editors apologize for the inconvenience.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*04/27/10 Stampers’ Sampler Catch Up Issue: Over 400 ideas for stamped creations.
*04/27/10 iPhone App Reviews Guide: Featuring over 547 iPhone apps rated!
04/27/10 Patriots of the American Revolution: Bi-monthly.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
North Dakota has only one company in the Fortune 500, MDU Resources Group of Bismarck, which just squeaked in at number 498.
— 2010 Fortune 500

Since Yellowstone Park was dedicated in 1872, the Old Faithful geyser has erupted more than a million times.
— Spring Travel 50 & Beyond

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

PATIENT’S UNTIMELY SNEEZE UNDOES $42,000 SURGERY!

WOLFMAN SITS, STAYS

MAN SCARRED FOR LIFE BY UGLY DISFIGURING SURGICAL SCAR!

ANIMAL ACTIVISTS SEEK TO SHUT DOWN RESTAURANT SERVING MONKEY BREAD!

‘SHERLOCK’ HAS BECOME SYNONYMOUS WITH ‘GUY WHO’S CONSTIPATED’

May 1, 2010
Lei Day
BIRTHDAYS
King Kamehameha I 1819
Dr. J. Allen Hynek 1910
Art Fleming 1924

While Mike is away getting some much needed, um, “rest”, we’ll continue to post the usual features but we’ll have to wait until Mike is back to resume the editorials at the top of the page. The editors apologize for the inconvenience.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*04/23/10 12th Street: I must lick the Sun.
*04/21/10 Summer Grilling: Cooks Illustrated special.
04/21/10 Readers Digest China: Printed in China.
04/21/10 Cinco (5) Magazine: Printed in Spain.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The 18th annual World Fireknife Championships will be held May 12th to 15th at the Polynesian Cultural Center in Laie, HI.
— June Hawai’i

To make Dagobah, the swamp planet where Yoda gave Luke his Jedi training in The Empire Strikes Back, they filled a soundstage with 112 tons of plaster and 120 tons of trees.
— May Maxim

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

SURGEON LIKES TO LIVEN THINGS UP IN THE OR BY PULLING LIVE RABBITS OUT OF ABDOMINAL INCISIONS

Now it can be revealed… BOSTON CREAM PIE IS REALLY CAKE!

COCKROACH CACCIATORE!

MAN UNDERGOING 7th SEX-CHANGE OPERATION
DOESN’T REMEMBER WHAT HE WAS TO BEGIN WITH!

ONCE AGAIN THE EDITORS OF VARIETY FORGET THAT PEACOCKS CAN’T LAY EGGS

April 26, 2010
World Intellectual Property Day
BIRTHDAYS
Frederick Law Olmsted 1822
Jerry Blackwell 1949
Joe Crede 1978

A Note About City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD

It’s come to my attention that once again an Asian newspaper has reprinted one of the headlines in City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD as being true. May I take this opportunity to reiterate that the headlines in City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD are meant to be used for entertainment purposes only, not informational purposes, because as much truth may or may not be contained in them there is virtually NO fact. City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD only came about because The Weekly World News ceased publication so Mike found himself in the position of having to write the funny headlines himself. He has accomplished that task with mixed success at best. So to the good people of Taipei we apologetically say, “To the best of our knowledge actor Tom Cruise has never played basketball with actor Danny DeVito, sober or otherwise.”


NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*04/18/10 The Gentlewoman: From the makers of Fantastic Man.
*04/18/10 Knit & Crochet Style: In English. Printed in Germany.
*04/18/10 Show Girlz Latina: 100% Latina!
*04/18/10 L’Officiel Hors Série: With English version.
*04/18/10 Perfect Day: Ideas & inspiration to personalise your wedding. UK.
*04/09/10 Snow Leopard Genius Guide: 178 pages of essential tips & techniques. UK.
*04/09/10 iPhone & iPad App Directory: Your guide to the best applications for iPhone, iPod Touch & iPad. UK.
04/07/10 Orlando Attractions Magazine: Disney & beyond.
04/07/10 Your Wedding… Imagine Magazine: Canada.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Sometime Genesis frontman Phil Collins owns 18 cannonballs used in the battle of the Alamo.
— May Harper’s

18,000 structures were destroyed in the Great Chicago Fire.
— May-June Mental Floss

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

GOURMET POI CHAIN CLOSES ITS LAST OUTLET

NORTH DAKOTA TOURISM DOUBLES AFTER
A CHICAGO FAMILY OVERSHOOTS MINNEAPOLIS

ANIMAL ACTIVISTS ‘LIBERATE’ OVER 200 LAB RATS INFECTED WITH BUBONIC PLAGUE!I

MAN EATING OSTRICH SITS TWO TABLES AWAY FROM MAN EATING WILD BOAR!

STUDENT GENETICS RESEARCHERS REPRIMANDED AFTER CROSSING
A COHO, A WALLEYE, AND A MUSKIE TO BE FUNNY

April 19, 2010
Feast of Waltrude
BIRTHDAYS
Eliot Ness 1903
Tim Curry 1946
Ruby Wax 1953

Ode to a Newsstand 2010

Laid out on the racks so orderly
are Cosmo, Spin and Gentleman’s Quarterly.
Glistening in rows so sleekly
are Rolling Stone, Real Simple, and Pro Football Weekly.
More informative than Brinkley & Huntley
are Newsweek, Time, and Washington Monthly.
A perfect gift for holiday giving —
Elle or Vogue or Martha Stewart Living.
Though some might find some issues a snooze
(check Vanity Fair and Shotgun News)
Another ish can be quite a corker —
just take a look at the new New Yorker!
One magazine that’s quite oversized
is Miami’s favorite, Ocean Drive.
Other ‘zines are somewhat smaller
like Reader’s Digest or Trapper & Predator Caller.
From Esquire, U.S. News & World Report,
Maxim, Flex and Auto Motor und Sport,
to Harper’s Bazaar and Seventeen,
TV Guide and Bike Magazine,
taken alone they’re all quite grand
but taken together they make a newsstand!

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*04/09/10 Filament: For women who like hot men and intelligent thought.
*04/09/10 Jimon: Art. Fashion.
*04/09/10 Consumers Digest Complete Car Guide: Expert reviews.
*04/09/10 ESPN World Cup Guide: Picks and predictions for all 32 teams.
*04/09/10 Mother Earth News Guide to Growing Your Own Food: Hundreds of great ideas for any garden.
*04/09/10 Snow Leopard Genius Guide: 178 pages of essential tips & techniques. UK.
*04/09/10 iPhone & iPad App Directory: Your guide to the best applications for iPhone, iPod Touch & iPad. UK.
04/07/10 Orlando Attractions Magazine: Disney & beyond.
04/07/10 Your Wedding… Imagine Magazine: Canada.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
A hairy leg may get sunburned more quickly than a shaved one.
— May Discover

Most toilets flush in the key of E flat.
— June BBC Knowledge

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

AMERICA GIVES UP ON DAVID SOUL

APPLE TO CHARGE $529 FOR NEW DIGITAL SHOE, THE iPED

MESH INSERTED DURING HERNIA REPAIR PICKS UP HBO!

FIRST-TIME CAMPER LEARNS WHAT CHIGGERS ARE

SCIENTIST CROSSES A BABOON AND A BIT OF ORANGE PEEL
AND GETS A COOL, REFRESHING NEW APE!

April 9, 2010
Feast of Waltrude
BIRTHDAYS
Hugh Hefner 1926
Tom Lehrer 1928
Jim Fowler 1932

The Newsstand Mystique

What is it about a newsstand that draws people in? Is it the military precision of the magazines marching off the shelf like razzle-dazzle regiments of reading? Is it the coverlines that sing to us like a cacophony of siren songs? Is it the anarchy of the clash of thousands of voices competing to be heard? I don’t know if there’s any one right answer, but perhaps we can gain some insight into the question if we consider some of the ways that newsstands suck people into their rainbow-realm of saddle-stitched style and stimulation.

Like a buffet, having more items displayed than any one person can possibly consume at one time gives the fascinating appearance of an inexhaustible variety of treats. The producers of both three-ring circuses and big Las Vegas production shows have always known that showing people just a little more than they can absorb at one time gives the illusion of showing way more than they are. The human mind has difficulty distinguishing between a little more than it can easily comprehend and infinity. (Think of the young child who knows no difference between 30 years old and 100 years old or between 100 dollars and a million dollars – they’re both more than they can comprehend and therefore approximately the same.)

Checking out a newsstand is a way for us to stick our heads above ground and see what’s going on in the world outside of our own burrows. The newsstand is a place where one can meet the world head on, on equal footing with anyone.

Most of us have so many people in our lives telling us we’re stupid – parents, spouses, bosses, older siblings, etc. – that we all have the occasional need to feel smart. In the television era, stopping at a newsstand and voluntarily reading is enough to make any of us feel mildly virtuous.

The covers of magazines clothe the racks in a crazy quilt of color, which stimulates us at a visceral level that is quite apart from the cerebral. The fact that the colors often reflect the season may appeal to us in yet a different way. The magazines on a newsstand can be said to make up a sort of fragmented reflection of the zeitgeist. Standing before a rack of magazines is like peering into a shattered looking glass, each shard distortedly reflecting a different aspect of the body politic, in an ever-changing cubist representation of society.

Now that you’ve read my fanciful ideas, tell us why newsstands appeal to YOU. E-Mail us at: newsstand@citynewsstand.com

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*04/01/10 L’Officiel Hommes Italia: Fashion reality.
*04/01/10 Be: Nouveau · travel.
04/01/10 Aero Australia: Quarterly..
04/01/10 Capital: Printed in Germany.
04/01/10 Tour: Das rennrad – magazin. Deutschland.
*03/30/10 Klack: Photography & culture magazine.
03/30/10 Jewish Currents: A progressive secular voice.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The highest speed ever reached on a conventional motorcycle is 252.6 mph.
— April BBC Focus

A cephalopod called a vampire squid is neither a vampire nor a squid.
— June BBC Knowledge

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
Your incredible source for unbelievable headlines!

MAN WHO LIKES PIÑA COLADAS HAS ONLY HALF A BRAIN!

MAN-EATING TIGER IN RESTAURANT IS ARRESTED FOR EATING ILLEGAL TIGER MEAT

MANSION HAUNTED BY THE GHOSTS OF THE POOR PEOPLE
ITS OWNER CRUSHED TO GET RICH ENOUGH TO BUY A MANSION

MANGOES TASTE GOOD!

MANY ELEPHANTS ARE SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT THEIR SIZE

April 5, 2010
Feast of Vincent Ferrer
BIRTHDAYS
Spencer Tracy 1900
Albert R. Broccoli 1916
Frank Gorshin 1933

Johnny Chicago in The Case of Mistaken Necessity

My brown size 8 fedora lay upside-down on the floor in the middle of my office. Behind my desk with my tie off and my collar unbuttoned I slouched in my swivel chair, lazily flipping a sticky pack of poker cards into the hat, on-by-one. Well, at the hat, anyway — some of them went in. I was between cases, having wrapped up a dull but modestly remunerative insurance inquiry a couple of Tuesdays ago. I was considering locking up and going down to Al’s to get an early start on the night’s drinking when a sharp rap came on the pebbled glass of my outer door, the one that had “Johnny Chicago — Discreet Investigations” stenciled on it.
I jumped like a cat to open the door — if I didn’t pay something on my tab at Al’s soon I’d have to find an even crummier joint to drink in. As I swung the door inward a man in a rumpled suit rushed right past me and seated himself in the client’s chair.
“Close the door! Close the door!”
I did so and made the long walk around my desk to my swivel and plopped down.
“Have a seat,” I said, uselessly.
He was a fidgety little guy, maybe forty, neatly shaven, hair recently and fashionably cut. His suit was rumpled but of the first quality. His Swiss watch and Italian loafers told me he had money, I just had to figure out how to separate him from some of it.
“So what can I do for you, Mister…?”
“No names!” he snapped.
“OK. I can play it that way. You try to forget that my name is Johnny Chicago and I’ll try to forget that your name is Harold Jacklin.”
Among the playing cards on the floor my keen powers of observation had detected a card I hadn’t thrown. I responded to Jacklin’s sputtering by nodding to it. He bent down to pick it up and came up all red in the face, whether from exertion or embarrassment I offer no opinion. He quickly stuffed the card back into his pocket. He started to remonish me with something snooty like, “Your sign said ‘discreet'” when he did a double-take. Looking at the mess on the floor he commented with a raised eyebrow, “You don’t seem very busy… “
It was my turn to turn red in the face but I didn’t. Without batting an eyelash I said, “Actually you’ve interrupted some research I was conducting.” That didn’t seem to fly so I added, “That poker player that was murdered down in Stickney?”
He looked dubious but continued.
“What you can do for me is very simple, really. I need you to buy some magazines for me.”
“You don’t need a private eye for that. What’s the catch?”
“No catch. It’s just that my interests are, um, diverse… ” His eyes darkened and he added sternly, “and they’re nobody’s business but my own.”
“And now mine, too.”
“I’m hoping I can rely on your discretion.”
“Oh, I’m the soul of discretion. How diverse?”
“Nothing illegal or anything like that but you may need to go to a dozen or so specialty shops to find them. Here’s a list.”
He handed me a sheet torn neatly from a yellow legal pad covered with scores of magazine titles written in a small, formal hand. The selection was eclectic all right. There was everything from specialized cooking magazine to obscure political & literary journals to oddball puzzle mags to gun collecting, regional titles and much more. I could see why he’d figured I’d be pretty busy. I briefly considered taking his money but in the end I knew it wouldn’t be right.
I handed his list back to him.
“You don’t need me. You can get all this at City Newsstand in Chicago or the Chicago-Main Newsstand in Evanston. I’ll write down the addresses for you.”
After he left I picked up all the poker cards and went back to flipping them into the hat. I decided I couldn’t afford an early start on the night’s drinking.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*03/28/10 Popular Crafts Complete Guide to Cardmaking: Rubber Stamping | embossing | punchneedle | quilting. UK.
*03/28/10 Fantasy Art: Over 200 pages of tutorials, interviews and features for using Photoshop and Painter.
*03/28/10 Dapper Dan: Men’s fashion & philosophy.
03/28/10 Power Torque: Australian truck mag.
03/28/10 Fashion Music Style: Fill my senses. UK.
03/28/10 Design Quarterly: Australia..
03/28/10 Web Design: Visual lessons for online success. UK.
03/28/10 Post Modern Ink: Tattoos Art Lifestyle Culture.
03/28/10 Beautiful Britain: Celebrating the past, embracing the future.
03/25/10 Super Yacht World: The international magazine for superyachts of distinction. UK.
03/24/10 Republic Magazine: Politics with an edge.
03/24/10 GiardinAntico: Italy.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The Hundred Years War lasted 116 years.
— May Empire

The Jacob & Co. Ruby Royal wristwatch features an all ruby dial and bezel and can be had for a mere $700,000.
— WatchTime Buyer’s Guide 2010

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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NEW ORLEANS ‘TANE PUMPER WRITES HIT SONG!

NEW PETTING ZOO DIRECTOR REPLACES ALLIGATORS AND PORCUPINES
WITH GUINEA PIGS AND A DONKEY

GNU BREEDER USES SELECTIVE BREEDING TO CREATE A NEW GNU!

NOODLE FACTORY EXPLOSION COVERS NEIGHBORHOOD WITH SMOKING LINGUINE!

NEWSLETTER SUED BY DIMINUTIVE ACTION STAR!

March 26, 2010
Prince Kuhio Day
BIRTHDAYS
Joseph Campbell 1904
Bob Elliott 1923
Martin Short 1950

Time Out, Chicago

The door was made of oak, darkened with age, with a central panel of pebbled glass making up most of its surface. On the glass was stenciled, “Johnny Chicago ~ Discreet Investigations.” It was the door to my office. It was ajar.
My right hand instinctively went inside my jacket. I pushed the door open slowly with my left toe. Little by little it revealed the longest and most shapely pair of legs I’d ever seen. They were attached to a woman sitting on the corner of my desk. She was young, but you could tell she’d been around.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she said. “The super let me in.”
So far I didn’t mind at all.
“What can I do for you, Miss . . . ?”
She smiled and went to my client’s chair. I sat down behind my desk. She crossed those legs of hers.
“I need help, Mr. Chicago,” she said, ignoring my question.
“Please, call me Johnny.”
“I need help,” she paused, “Johnny.” When she said my name I felt my heart jump in my chest.
After what seemed like an eternity but was probably a few seconds, I said, “Go on.”
“Johnny, I have a very stressful job. It’s what brought me to Chicago. I need to get out and do things, get involved, meet people.”
“And you want me to take you there, is that it?”
“What?” she asked. “Oh, no!” she said with a laugh. “You’ve got me all wrong! I don’t know Chicago very well. I just need to know where to go and what to do. I need the straight dope on the latest around town. The museums, clubs, dance, film, comedy, music, sports and theater. I need to know about books, art, television, radio — the works!”
My heart sank to the bottom of the Chicago river. I knew that she didn’t really need me. I opened up the top drawer in my desk and pulled out two items: a pint of whisky I kept in there for a rainy day and the latest issue of Time Out Chicago. I tossed the magazine across the desk.
“You don’t need a detective, Miss. Just get Time Out Chicago every week and you’ll know more about what’s going on in Chicago than anyone who doesn’t read it.”
“There’s a Time Out Chicago now?” she laughed. “Time Out helped make me the toast of London and with Time Out New York, I took my bite out of the Big Apple.” I nodded glumly and opened the whisky as I watched those long legs take her and my copy of Time Out Chicago out of my life.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

03/23/10 Tattoo.1 Tribal: Europe’s number one tattoo gallery magazine! UK.
03/17/10 Gluten-Free Living: Leading the way to a happy, healthy, gluten-free life.
*03/16/10 WWE Heroes: Comic.
*03/16/10 Open Minds: UFO investigation · news · evidence.
03/16/10 Jack Kirby Collector: Quarterly.
03/16/10 Bad Day: Quarterly. Canada.
03/16/10 Trial Magazine: Motorcycle · cycle · sidecar & classic. UK.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
As many as 2,000 coyotes may be living within the city limits of Chicago.
— April BBC Knowledge

It takes the hair and makeup people 90 minutes to transform actress Stephanie Courtney into Flo, the Progressive Insurance lady with the big tricked-out nametag.
— March 26 Entertainment Weekly

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MARK TWAIN WAS BORN IN FLORIDA!

THE DINOSAURS DIDN’T DIE — THEY BECAME COCKER SPANIELS!

ABANDONED CATHEDRAL HOME TO 10,000 VAMPIRE BATS!

TOM CRUISE LOSES CHARITY BASKETBALL ONE-ON-ONE 21-0 TO A DRUNKEN DANNY DEVITO!

GIANT SCHNAUZER RUNS AMOK IN LADIES TEA ROOM!

March 19, 2010
Swallows Return to Capistrano
BIRTHDAYS
Wyatt Earp 1848
Philip Roth 1933
Ursula Andress 1936

Seasonal Delights

You can always tell it’s December when you see all the Christmas cookie magazines on our racks but I didn’t realize until just now that you can tell it’s Spring with a glance at our food magazines as well. Here are some examples:

ST. PATRICK’S DAY
Taste of Home Irish Food & Fun: 76 recipe cards.

EASTER/LENT
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Good Food from the Good Book: Over 70 biblically inspired recipes and menus for healthy eating.
Fish and Seafood Recipes: Great ideas for salmon · shrimp · white fish · crab and more.
SPRING
Spring Entertaining: From Cook’s Illustrated.
Phyllis Hoffman Celebrate Spring: Berries! 10 amazing recipes.
Pillsbury Spring Brunch: Easy Easter brunch, Mother’s Day, graduation, showers, too!

In addition to the above dedicated seasonal magazines, Everyday Food exhorts us to “Spring Forward!”, Tastes of Italia says, “Go fresh this Spring” and Martha Stewart Living features 15 great ideas for celebrating Easter. But the seasons change — this weekend’s weather is sure evidence of that — and already available on our stand is a magazine called

Smoothies and Summer Drinks: more than 90 refreshing recipes.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*03/16/10 Turnstile: Quarterly of fashion innovation.
*03/14/10 Insignia: The voice of luxury. Russia.
*03/14/10 Decanter 2010 Italy Issue: Today’s most exciting regions, varieties and styles.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Chowder comes from the French word “chaudiere” which means cauldron.
— The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Good Food from the Good Book

Texas has more Dairy Queens than any other state — almost 600!
— March Texas Monthly

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Now it can be told: ROCKING-HORSE PEOPLE HATE MARSHMALLOW PIES!

WORLD’S SHORTEST MAN DIES — KATIE HOMES FAINTS WHEN SHE SEES THE HEADLINE!

LEPRECHAUN’S ‘POT OF GOLD’ DID NOT COME FROM COLOMBIA!

WHICH AMERICAN IDOL CONTESTANT IS A UFO ALIEN?

WEREWOLVES DON’T MESS WITH ZOMBIE DOG SINCE HE GOT SILVER DENTAL FILLINGS

March 12, 2010
Girl Scout Birthday
BIRTHDAYS
Frank Welker 1946
Jon Provost 1950
Carl Hiaasen and Ron Jeremy 1953

Strange Phenomena

Once again it’s time for another installment of our semi-regular feature, Strange Phenomena. This week they’re culled from the pages of Fortean Times and Paranormal and they give us a glimpse into the unseen, the unsuspected and the unknown.

Murderous Drunken Elk. A Swedish man arrested on suspicion of killing his wife was released
10 days later when forensic analysis showed she was killed by an elk. Elk are shy and normally run away from humans but can become aggressive after eating fermented apples which have fallen to the ground. — Fortean Times

Mysterious Mane-Braiding. Police in England are baffled by the number of horses whose manes are found braided by persons unknown. Is it thieves marking the horses they want to steal? Pagans practicing autumnal rituals? El Duende, the magical dwarf, fashioning stirrups? It’s even been suggested that there may be an association with Bigfoot. — Fortean Times

Shadow People. Glimpsed fleetingly in the corner of one’s eye, it is said that if you see one over your right shoulder it may be your spiritual guide watching over you but if you see one over your left shoulder it may be the death spirit. Some say that the Shadow People are the spirits of the restless dead or even extraterrestrials. Others insist they are summoned by dabbling in the occult. — Paranormal

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*03/10/10 The Quilt Life: It’s more than making quilts!
*03/09/10 Respect: Our life. Our time.
*03/05/10 Guitar Techniques presents Play Guitar Now!: DVD. UK.
03/05/10 Aquacabana: Printed on stone paper.
03/05/10 Duluth Superior Magazine: What Duluth-Superior is doing.
03/05/10 The Palm Beacher: A Gulfstream Media publication.
03/05/10 Photoshop Tips, Tricks & Fixes: UK.
03/05/10 Beginners Photoshop: The easy way to get started with Adobe Photoshop. UK.
03/05/10 IF Inside Film: Australia’s best selling magazine for the film & TV industry.
03/05/10 Dumbo Feather, Pass It On: Australia.
03/04/10 Wet Ink: The magazine of new writing.
*03/02/10 New You: The official magazine of cosmetic surgery.
*03/02/10 Maple Street Press Dodgers Annual: Chaotic contender.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
96% of people in air crashes in the US between 1983 and 2001 survived.
— March BBC Focus

Aberdour, Scotland is not car-friendly.
— April Travel + Leisure

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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CHICO, FIDEL CASTRO’S CHILDHOOD IMAGINARY MONKEY, HAS RETURNED!

TRAFFIC COURT JUDGE WHO ONCE LOST ON JEOPARDY JAILS ALEX TREBEK
FOR FAILING TO PHRASE HIS PLEA AS A QUESTION!

SINGING “IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL” EFFECTIVELY REPELS
ATTACKS BY VAMPIRES, WEREWOLVES & GHOSTS

CORRECTION: OSMOND FAMILY PHILANTHROPIC — NOT LYCANTHROPIC

TURN OFF YOUR RADIO — CHARLES OSGOOD CAN SEE YOU!

March 5, 2010
St. Piran’s Day
BIRTHDAYS
Dean Stockwell 1936
Penn Jillette 1955
Paul Konerko 1976

The Carson Factor

It may sound odd coming from a guy who works in a store selling thousands of different magazines, but I’ve always heard and always believed that for all of our differences people are more alike than they are different. For every aspect of our lives that we don’t share we have 10 that we do. Television used to be an easy affirmation of that maxim. After all, no matter what we did during the day, it seemed like before we went to bed we all watched the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Maybe we didn’t stay up for all the guests but we at least watched the monologue. Johnny’s gone now and people are divided between Dave, Jay, Jimmy, Adult Swim. The Simpsons reruns, Nightline, a hundred other shows, and more and more, no television at all. Because we no longer have that common cultural touchstone, sports has become the default Lingua Franca, among men, anyway. Of course there are many men and lots of women who don’t watch sports and in Chicago who can blame them? So it was gratifying to me to see that the Super Bowl this year was the highest-rated television broadcast ever, even higher than the Tonight Show where Tiny Tim got married. Unfortunately I had to work that Sunday so I didn’t get to share in the common experience, though I read about the game in the papers and caught up with many of the commercials online. That Betty White is still gettin’ it done, huh? This brings us to the Oscars, which were once hosted by Johnny Carson and are what got me thinking along these lines in the first place.

The Oscars was always another reliable cultural touchstone. It seemed like everybody had an opinion about who was going to win, who should have won, who said the wrong thing, who looked awful, who looked great, etc. As I get older I realize, however, that the Oscars have become – always were? – a young person’s game. After all, they’re the ones who go to the movies and therefore might be interested. Even though a nationwide audience of 40 million is anticipated most people I know aren’t going to watch this year’s broadcast. Does this mean that people have less in common and are slowly growing apart? Does it mean that people are more alienated than ever before? Does it mean that deep fissures in society have formed? Probably not. But I wish I had somebody to talk Oscars with…

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Yankees Annual: Encore!
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Twins Annual: Favorite son.
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Red Sox Annual: Game changer.
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Phillies Annual: Academy Awards preview.
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Mets Annual: Wright the ship.
*02/27/10 Maple Street Press Mariners Annual: Alone no more.
*02/27/10 Maple street Press Cardinals Annual: Back on track.
*02/26/10 Maple Street Press Cubs Annual: Bounce back!
*02/26/10 Backpacker Gear Guide: The toughest stuff ever.
02/26/10 Complete Kit Car: Build · drive · enjoy. UK.
02/26/10 Experimenta: Printed in Spain.
02/24/10 Somerset Apprentice: Artful building blocks.
02/24/10 Somerset Digital Studio: Grow as a digital artist!
02/24/10 Carpe Articulum: Literary review.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The first dog to fly on a commercial flight was Rin Tin Tin II, son of the original Rinty.
— Mar-Apr Mental Floss

Musical artists with work currently on the Billboard 200 include Hollywood Undead, Vampire Weekend, and Rob Zombie.
— March 6 Billboard

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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PAUL RODGERS ALL RIGHT NOW

CALVIN COOLIDGE HAD A GIANT SCHNAUZER NAMED MR. BANJO KABOINGBOING

BEFORE BARRY MANILOW WROTE THE ROCK & ROLL PEOPLE COULDN’T EVEN MOVE!

JEFF BRIDGES SIGNS TO STAR IN “LOONY LUNG”,
“NEUROTIC KIDNEY” & DEMENTED DUODENUM”

VAMPIRES LOVE JELLO™!

February 26, 2010
First Day of Ayyám-i-Há
BIRTHDAYS
William Frawley 1887
Tex Avery 1908
Verne Gagne 1926

Strange Phenomena

We occasionally like to go outside the everyday to learn about the unexpected. Herein is another installment of Strange Phenomena, culled this time from issue #258 of Fortean Times.

The Persistent Twister of Codell, Kansas
The town of Codell, Kansas was struck by a tornado on the evening of May 20, 1916. Exactly one year later they were again struck by a tornado, on the evening of May 20, 1917. On the evening of May 20, 1918 it came back again and devastated the town.

Earthlights
Luminous phenomena supposedly produced by geological movement.

Birdprints
Left behind on a pane of glass after an errant bird has crashed into it, these ghostly sillouhettes are thought to be made up of feather dander and if, as in about a third of these incidents, the bird dies, they make a poignant reminder of a violent end.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/20/10 Corner Store The Magazine: Get it all at the corner store.
*02/20/10 Deen Bros Good Cooking: 90+ recipes and tips.
*02/19/10 Love Contemporary: Something to remember.
*02/19/10 USA Today Hollywood’s Best: Academy Awards preview.
02/19/10 TB: Today’s Bride.
02/19/10 Experience Sedona: 2010 official guide.
02/19/10 Filati Infanti: Gorgeous stitches for the large and the small ones.
02/19/10 Quilt Mania: The quilt magazine. France.
02/19/10 Mirage: Fashion, swimwear and jetset hedonism.
02/19/10 Glass: UK.
02/19/10 Cruise International: Life’s a journey… travel well.
02/18/10 Africawatch: The Pan-African magazine of choice.
*02/17/10 Knitting Traditions: Just like Grandma did it.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
42% of South Koreans say they have never knowingly spoken to a foreigner.
— March Harper’s

The first magazine was published in 1731.
— March 1 Fortune

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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DANNY DEVITO IS FROM NEPTUNE!

THIS KNIFE HAS TASTED THE BLOOD OF 7 KINGS!

NAUSEATED MAN HAUNTED BY HIS REPAST

MOST OF NORTH DAKOTA NOW WIRED FOR ELECTRICITY!

ZOMBIE DOG WANTS TO LICK YOUR FACE! (But don’t let him!)

February 19, 2010
Chaoflux
BIRTHDAYS
Lee Marvin 1924
Homer Hickam 1943
Amy Tan 1952

OSCARS Homework

With the Academy Awards coming up before you know it, it’s time to head down to your local newsstand and bone up. The February 12/19 Entertainment Weekly is its annual Ultimate Viewer’s Guide to the big show and that’s a real good place to start… There will be special tribute to the late Chicago-based filmmaker John Hughes at the Academy Awards this year. Hughes, who was responsible for “Home Alone”, “Sixteen Candles”, “Planes, Trains and Automobiles”, “National Lampoon’s Vacation”, and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, among others, gets the in-depth profile he deserves in the March Vanity Fair… Another Chicago figure in the film industry is profiled in the March Esquire. Chris Jones shows us the private life of film critic Roger Ebert. Now unable to eat, drink or speak following the removal of his lower mandible, he remains upbeat — and more prolific than ever… Finally, this is only tangentially about movies but the March 1st issue of Fortune devotes its cover to a provocative story called “The Future of Reading — How Technology is Revolutionizing the Business of Information”, a topic that’s been discussed at length in this space of late.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/16/10 A//…: The contemporary “lifecultural” magazine. UK.
02/16/10 Loop: Fresh air for flying. UK.
*02/13/10 Crock·Pot: The original slow cooker.
*02/13/10 Consumer Reports Guía de Compras 2010: Ahora en Español.
02/13/10 Australian BHG Diabetic Living: Eat what you really love!
02/13/10 Beer & Brewer: Australia & New Zealand.
02/13/10 GQ: China edition.
02/10/10 20/20: Eyewear fashion.
02/09/10 Think Big: Leaders | Business | Mindset | Wealth. Australia.
02/05/10 Altaïr: Para ir más lejos. Spain.
02/05/10 Hogares Decoración: Spain.
02/05/10 In Style: España.
02/05/10 Pelo Pico Pata: Pets. Spain.
02/05/10 Perros y Compania: Dogs & cats. Spain.
02/05/10 Superfoto Digital: Spain.
02/05/10 Mobiclic Plus: CD-ROM Mac et PC.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Edward G. Robinson, Errol Flynn, Gary Oldman and Maureen O’Hara have never been nominated for an Academy Award.
— February 12/19 Entertainment Weekly

At 130 per 100,000 residents, Caracas, Venezuela has the highest murder rate of any city in the world.
— February BBC Focus

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3 ACTORS TOM CRUISE IS TALLER THAN: Danny DeVito, Peter Dinklage & Benji

3 OUT OF 10 WHITE HOUSE STAFFERS ARE UFO ALIENS!

THE WOLFMAN USED TO BE A DOG BOY

12-YEAR-OLD BOY FINDS THE ‘LOST CHESS MOVE’ — AND PROMPTLY LOSES IT AGAIN!

STRANGE LIGHTS OVER ARIZONA DESERT ARE ONLY SEEN BEFORE EARTHQUAKES IN CALIFORNIA!

February 12, 2010
Darwin Day
BIRTHDAYS
Janwillem van de Wetering 1931
Steve Hackett 1950
Chet Lemon 1955

Snow What?

We got 13 inches of snow Tuesday and Wednesday and from my vantage point it seem like we’ve bounced back pretty quickly. While the airlines used the occasion to cancel a thousand or so flights, the ones that weren’t canceled faced delays of an hour or two at the most which is not unheard of on days with no extreme weather at all. On Tuesday afternoon the sidewalks had all been shoveled when I walked to work though the snow continued to fall. On Wednesday afternoon I drove a couple of mile to a restaurant for lunch and encountered no serious weather-related impediments to traffic. For all the complaints I’ve heard about the winter weather over the past few months, we Chicagoans have been really fortunate this winter. This is our first double-digit snowfall and it waited until the second week of February. It’s inconvenient — particularly if you’re flying — but it’s hardly paralyzed the city. The mid-Atlantic states have had it far worse than we. Several weeks ago my wife got two e-mails in one day, one from a friend in Oklahoma and one from a friend in New York state. Both of them were dealing with over three feet of snow and here we were between them with nothing. The northeast in particular has had it bad this year with the snow. California has had feet of rain with all the attendant floods and mudslides. Minnesota has had air temperatures of 50 below and we haven’t even managed to get our wind chills anywhere near that mark. This is Chicago. We’re supposed to be used to harsh winter weather but I guess we’ve gotten soft after the last couple of decades of relatively mild winters. So if you need to get your mind away from the cold it’s a good thing that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is finally out and ready to transport us to some of the world’s greatest beaches with some of the world’s most beautiful women acting as our guides.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*02/06/10 Discover America: 2010 USA travel guide.
*02/04/10 Stunters Edge: Extreme motorcycle riding.
*02/04/10 Graciemag: Set your Jiu-Jitsu free.
*02/04/10 KG presents Body: Special from KandieGirlz magazine.
02/04/10 Photon: The photovoltaic magazine.
01/31/10 Alabama Heritage: Nonprofit educational quarterly.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
90% of all creatures who live 1,500 feet or more below the surface of the ocean are luminous.
— March Discover

The late film director John Hughes and his frequent female lead, Molly Ringwald, shared a birthday: February 18th.
— March Vanity Fair

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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MAN SHOCKED TO FIND HIS CLOSET FULL OF ‘POSSUMS!

CLUMSY CATERER MAKES FINGER SANDWICHES — FROM HIS OWN FINGERS!

STRANGE FOG HAS ENSHROUDED SMALL OREGON COASTAL TOWN FOR 3 YEARS STRAIGHT!

WHO’S CRUISE? 62% of high schoolers can’t identify a photo of actor Tom Cruise!

MAN WITH GIRAFFE LOOKING FOR A DUPLEX APARTMENT

February 4, 2010
Across the Universe Day
BIRTHDAYS
Ray Evans 1915
Ida Lupino 1918
Alice Cooper 1948

It’s 2010 — Now What?

It’s 2010 — why don’t I have a summer place on the moon? Man first set foot on the moon on July 20, 1969. That’s over 40 years ago. There should be commercial flights by now! I’m not talking about a big Lunar mansion or anything, just a quiet little place overlooking the Sea of Tranquility where I can relax and play slow-motion frisbee. Where the first hole of the local golf course is a 10,000 yard par 3. Hey, that’s another thing — why are we still using yards? I thought we were all supposed to be converting to metric by now. The only thing metric in our lives is the 2-liter bottle of pop. And it’s only pop! You can’t buy 2 liters of milk or orange juice. Did I miss a meeting? It’s 2010! Why am I not flying to work? Why are we still cooking? How come robots aren’t mowing my lawn? It’s 2010. The future is here and I, for one, am disappointed. Not only is there no rocket car in my driveway but we’re still riding on trains. Sherlock Holmes rode trains! The only good thing about all this lack of progress is that magazines are still around to keep us occupied on those long train rides…

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*01/30/10 TIME Haiti Tragedy and Hope: A share of the proceeds will benefit Haitian relief efforts.
*01/30/10 Rotowire Fantasy Baseball Guide 2010: Complete draft kit.
*01/29/10 (201) Bride: From the publishers of (201) Magazine.
01/29/10 Be Street: French urban magazine.
01/29/10 Champs de Bataille Thématique: Military history, strategy & analysis. France.
*01/28/10 Australian Gourmet Traveller Annual Cookbook: Our favorite recipes.
01/28/10 Spike: Art quarterly. Austria.
01/26/10 Achtung: Zeitschrift für mode. Germany.
*01/25/10 USA Today 2010 Fantasy Baseball: Over 800 player projections.
*01/25/10 Cooking Light Best Recipes 2010: 105 greatest hits of the year for all occasions.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
One of the key ingredients for making gunpowder — potassium nitrate — is contained in bird droppings.
— January BBC Focus

Currently, the Beatles have four albums on the Billboard Hot 200 and Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney each have an album there as well.
— January 30 Billboard

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
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THESE JALAPEÑO POPPERS ARE FILLED WITH BUMBLEBEES!

WIN A TRIP TO A TROPICAL ISLAND —
WHERE THE FILTHY RICH WILL HUNT YOU DOWN & KILL YOU!

3 DIE IN THE GREAT POODLE STAMPEDE!

OSCARS™ TO SALUTE 2009 – A YEAR WITHOUT TOM CRUISE

MYSTERIOUS BLOODSTAIN KEEPS REAPPEARING IN ROOM 413!

January 28, 2010
Data Privacy Day
BIRTHDAYS
Ernst Lubitsch 1892
Barbi Benton 1950
Jermaine Dye & Magglio Ordóñez 1974

Haiti — Tragedy and Hope

Time magazine has released an 80-page bookazine that captures the devastation in Haiti after the earthquake. A share of the proceeds will benefit Haitian relief efforts. Stunning photographs and stirring prose give the reader a glimpse into Hell. In these undertain times this handsome edition is a grim reminder of how good life still is in the United States relative to the less fortunate parts of the world. The final article, “What Haiti Needs” by Bill Clinton, raises the light of hoped in the shadow of tragedy. For every copy sold, Time will donate one dollar to Haitian relief efforts.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*01/23/10 Miami Heat Yearbook: Good enough ain’t enough.
*01/23/10 Tampa Bay Lightning Yearbook: Together we will.
01/22/10 Muley Crazy: The leading authority in mule deer hunting.
01/21/10 Shark Diver Magazine: Livin’ the dream!
*01/20/10 Cuisine Tonight Menus: 20&30-minute entrees with sides for every night of the week.
*01/20/10 Dallas Mavericks Official Yearbook: Annual.
*01/20/10 San Antonio Spurs Official Yearbook: Annual.
*01/20/10 Starting From Seed: From the publisher of Fine Gardening.
01/20/10 CED Magazine: The premier magazine of broadband technology.
01/20/10 Own: New men’s originals. HK.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has a dog named Skittles.
— February Esquire

Great Sand Dunes National Park is located in Colorado at an elevation of 8,200 feet.
— Winter Smithsonian Great Destinations

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UNSUSPECTING SPARROW FLIES INTO WOLVERINE ENCLOSURE AT COLUMBUS ZOO

TRANSYLVANIAN CENSUS-TAKER REFUSES TO COUNT DRACULA!

AVATAR II TO BE RELEASED IN BLACK & WHITE!

MAN FINDS 7″ BUTCHER KNIFE IN HIS CHEST & HAS NO IDEA HOW IT GOT THERE!

SENIOR GROUP DISAPPOINTED THAT THE TOM CRUISE WHO CAME TO SPEAK TO THEM ISN’T THE ONE WHO INVENTED THE HOVEROUND

January 21, 2010
National Hug Day
BIRTHDAYS
Benny Hill 1924
Placido Domingo 1941
Geena Davis 1956

How Will Magazines ‘Go Widescreen’?

Last week I wrote:
Much like the movies which went widescreen after television became popular the magazines that survive will start to incorporate features that can’t be properly produced online…
Of course now that television has finally gone widescreen, too, the movies are striving to differentiate themselves from TV by using updated 3D technology. ‘Avatar’ is not the first example but it’s perhaps the best example of how well this strategy is working. As anyone who attended this year’s Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas knows, TV is quickly catching up to 3D, too, even before the movies have fully implemented it. Now that print magazines are getting direct competition from emerging technologies — online magazines, magazine websites, magazines on kindle and Apple’s new tablet — what will publishers do to ‘go widescreen’?

This question may be based on a false premise. Publishers are essentially content providers and may be more interested in continuing to provide content using whatever media seem best able to reach consumers than in continuing to provide jobs for printers, distributors, wholesalers and retailers. Assuming that some publishers will always be willing to make a buck wherever they can find it, let’s explore ways that they can make the most of print.

Some of the features that magazines have incorporated in the past that work better in print than on video screens are fold-out posters, lenticular covers, and clip & keep recipe cards. Fold-out posters are of a size larger than both a monitor screen or a home printer page and therefore have an advantage over digital technologies. Lenticular covers are expensive to produce but cool-looking, very collectible, and provoke impulse-buying. Also collectible are clip & keep recipe cards. The two desirable qualities we can extract from these examples are Oversized and Collectible. Both give print advantages over digital.

So what other features can print incorporate to enhance their collectibilty? Magazine publishers have long understood the desirability of celebrity covers. One of the more popular ways currently used to increase newsstand sales is multiple covers. One of the best of these promotions that I can recall was when TV Guide had four different covers one week, each depicting a different starship captain from the various Start Trek franchises. In fact it may well behoove the print industry to do all they can to encourage the collecting of magazines. From publishing price guides and sponsoring magazine collector’s trade shows, to including articles on magazine collectors in their current publications to starting new publications and websites dedicated to magazine collecting, the print magazine industry ought to do all that it can to grow this pastime as it may hold one of the keys to the survival of print.

That brings us to Oversized. Printing magazines at roughly the same dimensions as the paper used in home pc printers is just playing into digital’s hands. Paper dolls could be done online but would be limited by the tyranny of 8½” x 11″. Print can do better than that. How about celebrity face masks? 8½” x 11″ doesn’t quite do it in this category but a slightly larger format could provide the proper dimensions for an excellent celebrity face mask. Aside from being collectible, how cool would a flash mob of 2,000 people wearing Conan O’Brien’s face been last week? The possibilities are intriguing. Model kits with cardstock cut-out parts — some of those parts being over 11″ long of course — could provide a competitive advantage over digital. As long as we’re talking about oversized let’s put in a plug for undersized as well. Formats that reduce at least one dimension could make some print publications even more portable than they are today.
There are a number of features that have yet to be incorporated into print magazines that can improve their viability, for instance, Chicago molecular gastronomist Homaro Cantu has developed a way to make edible ad pages that taste just like the food that they’re advertising. There must be many more that have yet to even be thought of.
It’s time for magazine publishers to start thinking out of the box if they want to save print because if they decide that they’re more interested in new technologies they may find themselves losing out to publishers that are using new ways to make print competitive and more profitable than ever.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

01/17/10 National Geographic Traveler China: All travel all the time.
01/17/10 TrendsTime: China.
01/16/10 Kaio: The Christian magazine for teens.
01/16/10 Modern Wedding Flowers: Australia.
01/13/10 U.S. Catholic: Published by the Claretians.
*01/12/10 Get Money: The magazine of choice for the corporate hustler™.
*01/12/10 Woman’s Day Word Finds: Solve and “live well every day”™.
01/12/10 Bodas USA La Revista: Bimestrales.
01/12/10 Fast Th!nking: How innovation works. Australian.
01/12/10 Australian Bella Beauty Magazine: Quarterly.
01/12/10 Modern Wedding Planner: Australia.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Proximity to fruit can endanger the longevity of cut flowers.
— February Reader’s Digest

40% of the food in America’s supply chain is wasted.
— February Harper’s

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INTERNATIONAL COURT REASSIGNS YAHOO.COM TO AUSSIE FUNNYMAN

Hottest Food Trend: DEEP-FRIED SPACE STICKS!

MANDRILL PROMOTED TO ALPHA MALE AFTER ACCIDENTALLY SITTING IN DAY-GLO PAINT

‘KNIGHT AND DAY’ IN THE GRAND TRADITION OF ‘LEONARD PART 6’

DISPIRITED, SLOOPY LETS GO

January 15, 2010
Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (traditional)
BIRTHDAYS
Gene Krupa 1909
Andrea Martin 1947
Luis Alvarado 1949

2020 Vision

What surprises does the next decade hold in store for us? In the great tradition of Criswell,
I Predict:
By 2020 the hottest pop star of the decade, Lourdes Leon, will already be yesterdays news…
MP3s will be made obsolete by a new file type with a faster sampling rate so iTunes can sell everything all over again…
Nightly newscasts in 3D…
Staff with genuine people skills will be so rare and prized by employers that universities will start to offer courses in interpersonal skills…
Much like the movies which went widescreen after television became popular the magazines that survive will start to incorporate features that can’t be properly produced online…
And finally, cell phone use will be banned at McDonalds.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*01/12/10 Bike Magazine The Bible of Bike Tests: The most comprehensive gear guide ever created.
*01/09/10 Elephant: The art & visual culture magazine.
01/09/10 Sobefit: Edited by Marta Montenegro.
01/09/10 Code: Documenting style. Netherlands.
01/09/10 Kurv: Fashion. Beauty. Culture. Art. Style.
01/09/10 Barcelonés: Castellano · English · Catalá.
01/07/10 Flower Magazine: Enriching your life through flowers.
01/05/10 Urban Garden Magazine: Hydroponics for growing minds.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
Motivational guru Tony Robbins’ grandfather wrote the Huckleberry Hound Show.
— January/February AARP the Magazine

Gelotophobia is the fear of being laughed at.
— Jan-Feb Utne Reader

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O POSSUM! MARSUPIAL INVASION MAKES HOMEOWNER SQUIRRELLY!

Expert: MOST GHOSTS ARE TERRIFIED OF THE LIVING!

MAN FINDS THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD GOLD COIN WITH HIS OWN FACE ON IT!

‘KNIGHT AND DAY’ NAMED CLEVEREST MOVIE TITLE EVER!

Making Lemonade… NEW YORK FURRIER HARVESTING RATS!

January 6, 2010
Little Christmas
BIRTHDAYS
Danny Thomas 1912
Vic Tayback 1930
Rowan Atkinson 1955

New Year, New Technologies…

New technologies are impacting our lives every day. These days a fully-loaded cell phone contains a still camera, a video camera, an mp3 player, internet access, a book reader, a GPS, a keyboard for texting and, oh yeah, a phone. The beauty of all these emerging technologies is that consumers now have a wide variety of choices. Take music for instance. You can go to a concert, play a CD, listen to the radio, stream off the internet, put your iPod on, throw a cassette on in your car, or sit down at a piano and play. Some people even listen to LPs. The point I’m trying to make, I guess, is that new technologies don’t always replace old ones, they just give us more choices. I received an Amazon Kindle as a gift last year and I’ve already read over 20 books on it but I still go to the library for books. Last week I even bought a bunch of paperbacks at a book store. The printed book is a technology that is hundreds of years old but we still read them. Radio’s heyday was in the 30s and 40s but we still listen to it at work and in the car. The golden age of Cinema was in the 20s and 30s but even with television, DVDs and Blu-Ray we still go to the movies. Many predicted that the advent of the personal computer was going to cut paper consumption drastically but instead it’s gone up. No one knows what the future of the magazine industry will be like but ten years ago many people were already predicting that it had five more years and then magazines would be gone. In double that time they weren’t even close to right.

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*01/02/10 Walk It Off: No-fail weight loss.
01/01/10 Snow: Life | lift | luxury.
01/01/10 Signature Magazine: L.A. lifestyle.
*12/30/09 Munaluchi Bridal: For the bride who craves culture and style.
12/29/09 Art Journaling: 50+ tricks, tips & ideas to rev up your journaling.
12/29/09 Mousse: Contemporary art magazine. Italy.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY
The opening scene in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” where Indiana Jones runs from the natives to the pontoon plane after stealing the golden idol in the booby-trapped cave was shot not in South America, where it was set, but on the island of Kauai in Hawai’i.
— February Hawai’i Magazine

The average German eats 70 lbs. of sausage each year.
— February/March German Life

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Study: 5 OUT OF 5 GIRAFFES PREFER SPAGHETTI TO MOSTACCIOLI

YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IN GHOSTS BUT THEY BELIEVE IN YOU!

NORTH DAKOTA IS STILL THERE!

ZOMBIE DOG SHORTS OUT AN ELECTRIFIED FENCE!

RARE QUARTER WORTH 26 CENTS!